Song lyrics

So tonight I’m at a hotel.  My daughters are attending an event in a different state from ours, and, as their chauffeur,  I’ve driven them to their event and now I get to kick back for a few days and then take them home again.

Driving today, listening to songs on the radio, I was struck, once again, by song lyrics.  So many songs are about love.  Quoting from a book again (actually from the forward):  “The need to love and the hope to be loved are simple, fundamental human drives.”  Big sigh here.

Here are some of the lines from a song today that I’ve never heard before, but these words really said something for me:

“All my life I’ve tried                                                                                                                                     To make everybody happy while I just hurt and hide                                                               Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn                                                                                          To decide”

So true.  So, so, so true.

And here’s another song from today.  Actually, I was sitting in my van last night when I got off work, listening to this one.

“Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,                                                                                                  drifting through the wind
wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
like a house of cards,
one blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep?
6 feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there’s still a chance for you
‘Cause there’s a spark in you

You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

‘Cause baby you’re a firework
Come on, show ’em what you’re worth
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you’re a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh”
You’re gonna leave ’em all in awe, awe, awe

You don’t have to feel like a waste of space
You’re original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it’s time, you’ll know

You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

‘Cause baby you’re a firework
Come on, show ’em what you’re worth
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you’re a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make ’em go “Oh, Oh, Oh”
You’re gonna leave ’em all in awe, awe, awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It’s always been inside of you, you, you
And now it’s time to let it through-ough-ough

‘Cause baby you’re a firework
Come on, show ’em what you’re worth
Make ’em go “Oh, Oh, Oh”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you’re a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make ’em go “Oh, Oh, Oh”
You’re gonna leave ’em all in awe, awe, awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon”

I’m tired of feeling like wasted space.   For years I have felt like my marriage has been sucking the life out of me.  So often I feel more dead than alive.  How can I be that firework across the sky?  So many things I want different for my life, but then I think, how can I even have that hope?  What am I free to do with my life? Will I ever get a rainbow?  A perfect road?

I want to feel alive, worthwhile, happy, healthy.

“The hope to be loved.”

I want my heart to glow.

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This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Song lyrics

  1. Divorcing a PA but reeling from the abuse says:

    I hated love songs. They couldn’t be real. That kind of love didn’t exist.

    I’ve met someone now who tries to sing them to me…. and I have hope… but then I think of how they weren’t real before so can they truly be real now??

  2. dallasfan1014 says:

    Y’all want song lyrics? I almost crashed my car when I heard this song for the first time. It’s called “Break Down These Walls” by Melanie Fiona… YouTube it…

    I don’t even try to fight it
    Yes I’m too mature to hide it
    All that I feel I can’t even explain
    But I know not a day goes
    I don’t go out my way for you
    Yet you keep me on an island
    At best you’re distant
    At worse you’re hiding
    What’s on your mind
    Baby time after time
    I try to break down your guard
    But it’s so damn hard child

    My heart beats every beat for you
    I’m hurt when you’re hurt
    I’m blue when you’re blue
    And I’m fighting, but even the greatest of walls withstand

    Chorus
    My love is strong but it’s weary from the climb
    Why can’t you help me?
    Can you please (break down your walls)
    I’m holding on, but my spirit gets weary
    I know what it is, I know it ain’t easy, but we must break (down your walls)

    Love has no fear
    Please take down your walls
    I’ll be right here
    Please break down your walls

    You don’t prove you’re tough by shutting me out
    You ain’t living alone
    But that’s the way you carry it
    It’s dead so you just bury it
    It still hurts, we don’t work, and here I am left bearing it all
    my my my my my my … why why why why won’t you
    let me do what a lover’s supposed to do
    does it even matter to you that…

    My heart beats every beat for you
    I hurt when you’re hurt
    I’m blue when you’re blue
    And I’m fighting, but even the greatest of walls withstand

    repeat chorus…

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