The following is from the book, “Toxic Men” by Lillian Glass, PhD:
Top Ten Reasons Women Stay with a Toxic Man
After reading so much about Toxic Men, you probably realize that it’s very difficult to maintain a relationship with them. But life and matters of the heart are not black-and-white. You likely have a variety of factors that will influence your decision. See if any of the top ten reasons that women stay with Toxic Men are at play in your decision:
- Your religion forbids it.
- Your cultural background frowns on you leaving.
- You feel you should stay for the sake of the kids.
- You are financially dependent on him
- You are concerned what friends and family will think if you leave.
- You believe that your Toxic Man needs you and can’t be without you.
- You’re feeling vulnerable and insecure.
- You’re afraid that no one else will want you.
- You feel a sense of hopeless resignation, that it’s your fate to stay in this relationship.
- You have a fear of the unknown (if you leave him and must start your life over.)
So, which ones apply to me?
Honestly? All of them to one degree or another.
While my religion doesn’t forbid it, it frowns on it, kind of combining #1 & #2.
My/our daughters hate him and they are 17 and 22, so it’s not for the kids, except financially. I am financially dependent on him. But I am working to change that, whether or not I stay.
I don’t care a lot about what friends and family think, but I do care enough that it would hurt. Most of my friends and family would not be happy about me leaving.
And the last 5 reasons are pretty much part of my thinking, too.
So now you know ten reasons why I haven’t left yet.