Expecting too much

For a long, long time, I wondered if I expected too much from my marriage.

Years and years and years ago, the man who was my pastor at the time, in trying to help me, said, “Don’t expect anything from him.”

I know he was trying to help, but a number of times over the years, I have wondered, why not expect something?  Isn’t that part of what a covenant, an agreement is about?

I have an agreement with my store:  they expect me to work for them and I expect them to pay me.  Or else why would I be there?

Why do you enter into any kind of relationship with anybody about anything if there aren’t certain expectations?

Why would marriage be different?  Why wouldn’t I expect him to spend time with me?  To be a good father?  To have fulfilling sex with me?

When I was reading “Should I Stay or Should I Go?,”  there was a section that addressed the question of whether women expect too much from a relationship.  The author said, which I found VERY comforting, that he has found that most women don’t expect enough from their relationships with their husbands/boyfriends.

I don’t have the book, so I don’t remember his list of things that were appropriate to expect in a relationship, but I do remember that one of them was respect.

Anyhow, it was kinda nice, after all these years, to have affirmation that, despite my co-dependence, or maybe because of it (!!!), no, I probably, really, truly have not expected too much from my husband.

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