There is a series of scenes in the movie “Eat Pray Love” where Liz and her lawyer and her-soon-to-be ex-husband, who is representing himself, are meeting together to work out the divorce.
I don’t think I could do that. I can see myself being on my own, but I don’t think I could face him in a situation like that. I couldn’t do it.
If he wanted out, too, I could do it. But I can’t see myself putting someone through so much pain. Even though I hate the way he treats me, I don’t know if I could hurt him that much.
Does that make sense?
I wish it could just be done with, without going through the process. Can’t we just fast-forward to the good, happy part and skip the icky part?
I don’t even know if there ever will be a good, happy part. Maybe I will stay in the marriage. If I do stay in the marriage, I need to figure out a better way of dealing with it.
Because right now, it is killing me.
When he came home this evening, he was as cheerful as ever. Not a word about the silent treatment of this morning. Of course, there never is ever anything at all ever said about the mean stuff that he does. Whether he doesn’t see it, although I do think that he does, or he just won’t address it, I’m not always sure. I think more often than not, he just won’t address it.
And I don’t know how to, either. Like today, I was pretty busy this morning when I left the house, with him refusing to tell me good-by, so for several hours I didn’t think about what had happened. But then later in the day, when I was thinking about it and blogging, then it began to sink in and I felt like I had been physically beat up.
So then this evening, when he comes home, acting like none of this happened, I have no clue what to say about it. First of all, he would deny it. And then, from there, there really is not much point in going on, is there?