So, what is my husband like?
He doesn’t yell. He doesn’t scream. He doesn’t swear. He doesn’t hit. He doesn’t break things. He doesn’t drink. He doesn’t smoke. He doesn’t chase women. He doesn’t look at porn. He doesn’t watch sports. He doesn’t go out with the guys.
He very rarely repairs anything on the house. He very rarely mows the lawn. He very rarely cooks (except for his own breakfast). He doesn’t spend time with our daughters.
He does pay the bills.
He’s clean-cut. Traditional short hair, parted on the side. Mustache. Beard. No earrings. No tattoos. Not over-weight.
He always, always, appears fairly cheerful.
He earns only just enough money.
He talks about the weather. He talks about what he heard on the news. His opinion of the news, of course. He tells the family gossip, the neighborhood gossip. He talks about what he did at work. He doesn’t ask about you. And anything you tell him, he will respond with what he knows. He doesn’t really care what you think.
He is very focused on himself.
He has the same emotion whether he’s telling me about the drill he bought or about his mom’s cancer. In fact, he told me about the drill first and then that his mother was in the hospital again for the cancer.
If you meet him in a store or come to his business, he’ll be friendly to you. But watch out. When he comes home, he’ll tell me his negative opinion of you.
Our relationship isn’t deep, it isn’t close, it isn’t fulfilling. It’s empty.
And it’s painful.
This evening I was making dinner and he came into the kitchen. He told me about something he had made for his helper to give to his (the helper’s) mom. What he made is related to his business, but is more of a hobby thing rather than anything that he is making money on. I asked him if he didn’t have work. He said he did, but that he made this other thing, too.
I then told him, very calmly, that when he gets the credit card bill, he says he doesn’t have enough money for it, but that often times he tells me about stuff that he has done instead of working when he could have been earning money. I told him that this concerns me.
I was looking for something in the fridge as I was saying this. When I finished speaking, he said, “What are you looking for?” So I told him what I was looking for.
But all evening, he never ever said anything at all about my saying that the money/working/earning thing concerned me. It was as if I hadn’t even spoken.
That’s what he’s like.