Vision board. Or not.

I’m feeling really depressed tonight.

I can’t see myself ever getting out.

I can’t see myself getting the job I want.  I can’t see myself earning the money I want to earn to be able to get out and get ahead financially.

I can’t see myself living anywhere but in this falling-down house.

I can’t see myself ever loving myself enough and taking good care of myself.

I can’t see someone special loving me.

In the New Choices Program that I finished last week, we made vision-boards the first day of class.  My vision board addressed all those things I listed above, the ones I can’t see myself doing.

Even though I love my vision board and it really truly is what I want for myself, I can’t see myself there.  I guess I feel like I don’t deserve those things.


This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Vision board. Or not.

  1. Paula says:

    Of course you deserve those things. Aren’t you a human with one life to live? Yes! You are! One of my favorite quotes from Star Wars (which I watch because of my son) is spoken by Yoda to Luke, “Do or do not. There is no try.” You need to remember this whenever you are feeling defeated or tired or trapped. It works for me. It might work for you. :)

    • Yoda is one cool dude! I guess it has been “do not” for me most of the time recently. Sometimes it seems like so much work to “do,” even though I am not a lazy person. I’m just depressed right now and that makes everything harder. Thank you for your encouragement. I really do appreciate your comments.

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