So, help me out here…

Last week, my husband told me that he had put a small chunk of extra money on the bill for his business equipment to pay it off sooner.  This was after I had been to the doctor and said doctor had mentioned the possibility of cancer.  Have I mentioned that we don’t have health insurance?  Only catastrophic insurance?  That means we pay doctor bills out of pocket.  Only if there is an accident will insurance cover anything.  So, here we have the possibility of having very high medical bills, but he decides that now is the right time to pay extra on the business equipment.


After we moved here, I wanted a tiller to work the “soil” to start a garden.  He found a tiller for me.  He actually found two tillers for me.  Neither one has ever worked.  I eventually found a better way for me to garden, so I didn’t need the tillers that didn’t work anyway.   Yesterday, he told me he was going to take a tiller to a small engine repair shop so he could till the place where he has started a vegetable garden.   I told him that I thought he had already used his dad’s tractor to plow the ground.  He said he did, but he (now, when he wants to use it) wants to have the tiller fixed so he can grind the clumps up smaller.


This evening he came home with a present for me.  It is a plant.  Fine.  I like plants.  It is a chocolate mint.  Fine.  I love chocolate mint.   I have grown chocolate mint for years.  I asked him if he knew that I already had chocolate mint.  He said he did know that, but now I have another one.  So I very graciously told him thank you.

Have you ever grown mint?  If you’ve grown mint, then you know that the problem with mints is that they spread.  Quickly.  Abundantly.  You never lack having a mint plant if you want one once you have a mint plant.  It is so easy to just dig up a runner and plant it.   So, in case this isn’t clear, he brought me a plant that I already had that is very easily propagated.   Essentially, a present that is nothing I needed, wanted, desired, have any use for, has no special meaning, etc.

Yeah.  I know.  “It’s the thought that counts.”  (Really?)   Yeah.  I know.  I sound petty.


This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, money, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to So, help me out here…

  1. Forgive me my words, but always when I read your blog I feel the urge to punch that dick in the face for what he does to you. He’s deliberately annoying you and making you feel bad, in such a manner you can’t even complain about it without indeed sounding a bit petty.
    Gosh, I hate him and I don’t even know him!
    You really have to get out of there…

    • The covert part of it makes it really difficult, because it makes me doubt myself, makes me wonder if I am just petty, or if I am reading stuff into it. He has a very mild-mannered personality; he’s not “in your face” at all so then I feel like a bad guy for not liking him because he seems so “nice.” I want out so badly! I need to find another job so I can support myself, but I haven’t done that yet. I’m working forty hours now, but that will only be for a couple more months. Thank you for your comment! :)

      • That’s the worst thing… He makes you doubt your sanity. But you know; actually that shouldn’t matter. Even if you were going insane (for the record, I don’t think so) you still have the right to leave someone who makes you feel bad, even if that’s only in your own perception. After all, your own perception is the only perception you have.
        I hope you will find a good job soon ;)
        Good luck and take care!

      • You are right – my own perception is the only perception I have!!! :) I hope I find that good job soon, too! Thank you! :)

  2. renxkyoko says:

    We have mint in the garden,,, I don
    t know what it is, but Mom says it
    s the one used in toothpaste and mouthwash. And yeah, the plant is invasive !

  3. you’re welcome *huggle*

  4. Karen says:

    PA’s are not able to think deeply about anyone else enough to give a gift from the heart. I’m with quantum up there.. ;-) I wanna punch your spouse in the face. A truly loving thing to do would be to fix the equipment you need to do the thing you love to do. PAs ONLY do the things that will grant them benefit. Crazy-makers.

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