Just venting.

O.K., so I had a bad day at work.  It was very busy at the store.  I am the only official cashier, but thankfully there are 2 – 3 others who can also cashier and other employees will often answer the phone for me if I am too busy with customers to answer it.  Still, it gets very busy and very stressful.  Plus, I felt weepy today.  I don’t know if it is hormonal or stress or both, but for whatever reason, it about killed me not to break down and cry at work today.

Then, there was still a customer shopping 10 – 15 minutes after closing time.  And I was working on learning the closing procedures for counting the cash, but the numbers didn’t work out right.  At least, it was over and not under, but it still took more time.

After work was finally over, I had to go three different places.  And it was raining on the way home.  And I didn’t really want to go home, so I drove for about twenty extra minutes before heading home.

When I got home, I unloaded the van in the wind and rain, came in, started a load of laundry (his work shirts, by the way), started cooking my lunch for tomorrow, which includes steaming broccoli.  (Take note.)   I go see my younger daughter to see how she is doing and show her what I got for her today to see if she likes it.  I take the laptop in her room so I can email while I am with her.

All this time, my husband is sitting on the sofa, watching some sit-com.

I’m working on an email for part of a group that I am coordinator for and I keep thinking that something smells funny.  Finally, I figure out what it is that I am smelling and I run to the kitchen.  The steamer pan has boiled out of water and burned the bottom of the pan.  (This is the second time I let this happen in the past couple of weeks.  Unintentionally, of course.)  My husband is already in the kitchen, standing there in front of the stove, holding the lid and the top steamer pan.  But not doing anything.  I get him to put down the stuff so I can pick it up and take care of it.  He says, “Can I say something without you getting upset?”

“Sure.”

“When you are boiling water, after it boils, you can turn down the fire so it doesn’t boil so high and it will continue to steam, but won’t run out of water so fast.”

Oh, really.  I didn’t know that.  Thank you for telling me.  I have never ever boiled water, let alone steamed anything, in my whole entire life.  Note the heavy sarcasm here.  In reality, I didn’t say a single thing.

Then he asks me why I was late coming home.  So I tell him.  Then he asks me if I had a good day.  I tell him, no.  Then he wants to know if I am done with the computer.

So I stop scrubbing the burnt pan so I can go finish the email so he can have the computer while I finish scrubbing the pans and finish my dinner and put the laundry in the dryer.  And borrow my older daughter’s laptop so I can vent.

Whatever.

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This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Just venting.

  1. Karen says:

    And everything you did would have felt SO much different if he had reacted in love and caring. If he had recognized that you were trying to do too much, he might have stepped in and said,”Hey, babe, let ME set the kitchen on fire!” and grabbed you up while cleaning it all. I understand.
    When you’re loved, basic chores seem like nothing. When you’re living with a selfish, 4 year old man-child, you feel like a beaten up martyr.

    • You know, I don’t even know what it would be like to be in a loving relationship. I can’t even picture it. But I sure do hope and pray that one day I will find out!!! I DO feel like a beaten up martyr and I don’t like that feeling one bit!

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