It’s not so much that the house has issues.  That’s life.  Everything breaks down at some point.

Although, we were pretty stupid when we were buying the house.  Since we lived in another state at the time,  I asked him if we could hire a professional home inspector to inspect the house for us.  He said he would just have his dad look at it.

Well, somehow, his dad managed to miss the rotting floor, the failing septic system, the leaking well,  and the leaking bathtub.  And the termites.  (His dad replaced the bathtub for us not too long after we moved in.)

However, the other things are still problems that have increased over the past seven and half years that we have lived here.

Which brings me to what makes me so mad.  Like I said, it’s not so much that the house has issues.  It’s just that they are NEVER fixed.  And there are NO plans to fix them.  It is pointless to even bring it up; a complete waste of time, energy, and breath.

I’ve done some stuff to help the house.  I put in a drainage system to keep so much water from going under the house.  I sealed up the crawl space and put in a ventilation system to help dry it out under the house to hopefully slow the rotting of the floor.  My brother helped me lay plastic under the house to further seal the crawl space.  I’ve painted many of the rooms.  I fixed the leaking faucet to stop sixty gallons a day from going into the septic tank.  I got a job to see about getting the leaking roof fixed.   I hired and paid for someone to clean and seal the air ducts.

He just has no desire, no incentive to fix anything around here.  He can’t even replace a tire that keeps leaking on the riding lawn mower.

This is what makes me so mad.  He passivity.  His lack of maturity to man up and take care of his family.

Oh, guess what.  He’ll change the whole house water filter at his parents’ house for his sister.

But somehow I don’t rate.

This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to More…

  1. Paula says:

    Has he been seen by a doctor for depression? I don’t understand how someone could just leave everything up to the other person when it’s so much stuff that needs to be fixed. He also sounds like he suffers from a little laziness, too. Is he motivated to do anything on a daily basis? I would be just as frustrated!

    • Paula, He is not depressed. He is always very cheerful. He does his job everyday; he has his own business. But beyond that, no. He doesn’t do anything. I think he is lazy in that he only does what he feels like doing – he likes his job – but he doesn’t put himself out for anything more.

      • Paula says:

        He does the absolute minimum to “get by” and let’s you do the heavylifting it seems. And he knows you’ll do it and that he doesn’t need to be bothered. He’s playing you like a violin. He is driving you to be frustrated and unhappy while he merrily goes about his existence being happy. What a master manipulator! I’m sorry.

  2. I’m saying it again, and again and again.
    You are so courageous to not only put up with that man but also get the stuff done on your own… Although I can imagine it to be frustrating. *huggles*

  3. I hate to say it but it seems he treats the house like he does your marriage. As long as it is there for him to live in sleep in and do what he needs to do he don’t care what is wrong with it or how bad it is. As long as your there when he gets home at night and you are there when he goes to bed he isn’t worried about how unhappy you really are. When he thinks your going to leave or to unhappy then he wants to act like he cares and talk to you to try to make you happy and keep you from leaving.

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