So, is my blog just a laundry list of everything that is wrong with my husband?
I hope not.
I started my blog because I found myself writing to (emailing) my brother a LOT about what was going on in my life. Of course, even though I realized that he has his own family and his own life, I still wished he would write back more. But then I thought, it really isn’t fair to burden him with every single little thing that gets to me. He doesn’t have to hear my sob stories all the time.
So I started this blog so I could vent without burdening my brother.
I grew up in an atmosphere where I felt like it was wrong to air anything negative. It was especially taboo to ever express anything bad about your spouse. As a result, I’m not comfortable talking with people who know me well about my marriage problems. I feel guilty.
So I talk to you, out there in the internet world, anonymously. I can say what’s on my mind without guilt, without fear, with anonymity.
Blogging, too, helps me process my thoughts. It’s a way of thinking out loud, of getting to know myself better, of analyzing what is going on in my life.
It’s also a way to release something that has happened. I have written it down; it can flow away from my brain now.
My blog is also a record. If, at some point, I have to answer as to why I left my marriage, I have a record of the things I have daily faced.
And last, but definitely not least, if along the way I have helped someone, encouraged someone, given someone information, or hope, or strength, or just the knowledge that they are not alone in dealing with passive aggressive behavior, then every word I have written and every tear I have cried has gone for something better.