the shirt conversation

He walked into the room, carrying one of his white dress shirts.

him:  Is this a work shirt?

me:  Does it say “work” in the collar?

him:  No, but see how frayed it is.

me:  I wrote “work” in the collar of all your white work shirts.

[I did this to make it quicker to sort the laundry, so I didn’t have to think about which white shirts were his dress shirts and which white ones were his work shirts.]

him:  Well, I think it is a work shirt because it is so frayed.

me:  So why did you ask me?

him:  I wanted your opinion.


(Yeah, don’t worry if this doesn’t make sense.)

This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to the shirt conversation

  1. Woman Friend says:

    I stubled over your blog over this weekend, I don’t rmember how I found you but I have been reading your stories and feel as though I have met a friend! I have been living with my PA boyfriend for 6 years, together 8. I have been looking to buy my first house for the past 2 years, but the past year I have been searching desperately, convinced that only by leaving to I have any hope of ever being happy again! I don’t know if this is true, but this is what I tell myself because I am so desperately unhappy. I just absolutely love and respect your emotional honesty! Your words gave me the strength to be honest with myself and him: I AM VERY UNHAPPY! WOW, that’s a start ;-) I hope to contribute something, hang in there!

    • I’m glad you found my blog! :) Please do leave him, even if you just go rent an apartment and wait on buying the house. You won’t be happy staying, I can tell you that! You have to take care of yourself! Love yourself enough to get away from a boyfriend who doesn’t treat you right! You are so worth it! Believe in yourself enough to find a man who will truly love you. Thank you so much for commenting and I hope to hear from you again on my blog! :)

      • Woman Friend says:

        Every day I feel crazier, especially in the morning when I awaken and don’t know why I am here. He’s been building my “cottage” for 5 years and I live in my trailer and he lives across the yard in his house. He’s a carpenter of 40 years and can’t seem to finish anything and everytime I tell him either I leave or I go insane, he starts another unfinished project. I thought he has aspergers or something and now I realize it’s just plain ol mess with my mind every day. I have saved a little money and I get a monthly pension from the VA, I thought I could find something to buy but it’s all over my head. Thank you for your gut wrentching honesty, I think that takes raw courage to be honest, you be kind to yourself, you’re a witty funny woman ;-) Goddess Bless us.

      • If he’s been a carpenter for 40 years, obviously he would have had to finish projects for other people! Are you paying him to build your cottage or is he doing it because he “loves” you? If you want to live there and you are paying him, STOP paying him and pay someone else to finish the cottage. If you are ready to be done with this, find someplace else. Rent if you have to, but don’t let him mess with you. You don’t deserve that; you are too good for that! :)

  2. Shell says:

    Hello: I have been following your blog for awhile now, I can read your pain. My husband and I just attended a workshop in Nashville Tennessee this week-end called LovePath 911 (Joe Beam). This was an amazing, amazing experience. Please visit his website and attend his workshop (they have scholorship available).
    Joe and his wife Alice and the team at Marriage Helper are a gift to this world. Please attend this workshop your path with life will be for ever changed.

    • I think I heard Joe Beam speak one time on the Dave Ramsey show. I would love to go to one of his workshops, but so far, I haven’t had any success with convincing that we need to get counseling. I don’t know if he would consider a workshop. Thank you for your encouragement and your suggestion. And thank you for reading my blog. :)

  3. Woman Friend I just left my husband in November I thought for a long time that his problem was aspergers and then found this blog when I started mine and released that I don’t think it is. I do think that some of what is wrong is aspergers but not all of it. I think a lot of it is Passive Aggressive too. I think that the aspergers cause them to kind of just go along with things but then they don’t like that they did or they are and don’t know how to speak up and say something so then they do the passive stuff. My son is aspergers and I see a lot of the same stuff in my husband as I do my son. But they need to seek help in trying to fix things and working things out if they truly want to keep us. Talk him into getting help or get out soon. If won’t get help it will only get worse.

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