Monthly Archives: September 2012

I want it over already.

I want it over already. Since I have decided to leave, I am suddenly SO ready to be gone, to have it done. Someone at work told me it would be the hardest year of my life. I’ve heard that … Continue reading

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , , | 12 Comments

Taking a stand

I went to see Julie, the therapist, today.  Talking to her is SO good!  I had made the appointment last week, before this past week-end when I made my decision.  Before the final straw.   Hmmm….. Anyhow, she said something very … Continue reading

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

No more doubt

I realize that I have been blogging about my marriage for almost a year now, although the pain and emptiness have been for much, much, much longer than that.  And I realize also that, if you have read my blog … Continue reading

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, money, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | 14 Comments

TMI

I am so ashamed to write this. I almost didn’t write it but since my blog is my story, I have to write it. I let him have sex with me this morning. He started touching me and I want … Continue reading

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments

what…?

So I come home and he has washed all the dishes. I put the pizza that I picked up after work into the oven and then I was going to go put gas in my van.  He said he would … Continue reading

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , | 12 Comments

Pity party tonight

Maybe I am still here because I don’t think there is anything better for me. I don’t deserve anything but a stupid, rotting house. No man could ever truly love me anyway because I’m not good enough. I feel stupid … Continue reading

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , | 17 Comments

Intimacy

“So what exactly is this elusive quality called intimacy?  Why is it so difficult to find?  Why is our longing for it so mixed with fear?  My guru shrink Jim long ago gave me the best explanation of intimacy I’ve … Continue reading

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , | 12 Comments

don’t know what to say

Last night, I was lying in bed crying because I felt so hopeless and he said, “I love you very much and I am trying to be a good husband for you.” Don’t know what to say.

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , | 7 Comments

self-justification – or not

I said in my previous post that I might write a post of self-justification. But there really is no point.  His words were unjust.  Untrue.  They hurt me deeply. I am not guiltless.  I have spent too much money.  Although, … Continue reading

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, money, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Prima donna

Well, evidently, I am a prima donna. I expect to have my every need, want, wish, and whim fulfilled instantaneously from a vast and deep reservoir of wealth.  I do nothing to contribute to the relationship and I expect him … Continue reading

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, money, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments