what…?

So I come home and he has washed all the dishes.

I put the pizza that I picked up after work into the oven and then I was going to go put gas in my van.  He said he would fill up the van for me.  (That means it’s on his credit card.)

Then I go into the bedroom to change clothes and there there are a dozen red roses in a glass vase with some baby’s breath on my vanity.

What do I do?  What do I think???

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This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to what…?

  1. K says:

    I’m getting the same royal treatment. Let’s see how it plays out….

  2. Woman Friend says:

    Coming from him, they are just store bought flowers: they are not hand picked, they are not hand raised in a garden, they were not growing wild on a wind swept hillside. They are a token of ownership. They are a token of ritual and status quo routine. He wants sex. Tell him thanks and then MOVE THEM OUT OF THE BEDROOM, to the kitchen or another non-sex room.

    • Wow! You are so right!!! “A token of ownership.” I couldn’t really articulate that when I first saw them, but, yes, I felt a feeling of obligation, obligated to be nice, obligated to be courteous, to give him another chance. He did want sex. He got sex. I want to die.

      • K says:

        Yeah, My last anniversary, mine brought me a HUGE bouquet of flowers to my SCHOOL where I work. In front of many people. Of course, everyone thought he was the BOMB and what a great guy! Me? I’ve told him a million times I don’t like flowers. ( the cats eat them, and they’re a pain in the neck). SO, he does this is front of others and it IS an ownership thing….I was trapped and had to appear appreciative. It was very painful. Who knew that about flowers? Maybe that’s really why I don’t like them.

  3. Paula says:

    Ask him why he got himself roses. What do you think about the roses?

    • Paula, It’s nice to hear from you again. I almost did ask him why he got roses. I wanted to take them and throw them at something. I appreciate your clarity.

      • Paula says:

        I’m sorry you had to deal with the pressure and control associated with those flowers. (I also apologize for not being active with my comments lately. I think about you a lot. I want to see you blossom and have the happiness you deserve.)

  4. Don’t fall for it… He’s been doing this all along, treating you like garbage and then doing something sweet to make you doubt again. Keep your goal in mind…

  5. K says:

    Yes. There’s always a price to pay.

  6. renxkyoko says:

    I feel conflicted. I feel in my gut your husband somehow loves you still. Sorry if I feel differently.

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