stealing my compliments

A little background – the vet that I take my cats to (which isn’t often) is very pet-owner-focused.  He talks to the pet owners about their pets as if the pets were children.  His practice very much caters to the pet-owners, even to the point of calling me “Aslan’s mommy.”  (Aslan is my kitten.)  Maybe they over-do it just a tiny bit in my book, but they do have my business because I know they will take good care of my pets.  And I do like to be treated well.

I got a massage this afternoon.  It was wonderful!  Anyhow, the massage therapist told me, as she was massaging my face, that I had really clear skin and it looked like I had just had a facial.  I’ve never had a facial and I often feel frustrated with my skin, so it made me feel really good that she said that.

When I told my husband, he said, “She could work at the vet’s office,” implying that it was just flattery and meaningless.

The other day, I was part of a newspaper interview.  When the interview was finished, the young lady doing the interview said to me, “Every time I look at you, I think you look like [a very well-known celebrity who is pretty].”  So I was tickled with that!

When I told my husband, he started talking about how stupid he thought this particular celebrity is.

I guess he doesn’t like it when people compliment me.

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This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to stealing my compliments

  1. K says:

    They don’t like it when we’re happy. They don’t stand up for us. They don’t build us up. They break the marriage covenant daily.

  2. He just can’t deal with you being stronger and happier, maybe because subconsciously he knows that when you grow stronger and more confident, you won’t be dependent on him anymore and leave him because he’s an asshole.
    It’s just his petty defense against the inevitable; after all the years he brought you down you have finally reached a point where outside compliments touch you more than his words do. That is a great achievement. Keep going!

  3. Melanie says:

    To hell with him. Let the compliments feel good; they should.

  4. He’s a big dummy. Compliments are awesome – and I hope they totally made your day! Also – in the future, I’d keep them to yourself, or save them for your blog. Like Melanie said, to hell with him!

  5. iwonttakeit says:

    Nothing that makes you feel good can come from anyone but him – it’s one of the most basic laws of these assholes. Feel good, you deserve it!

  6. childofthetruth says:

    He’s such an idiot!

  7. venefixa says:

    Oh, arrrgh, this is the bane of my existence. It’s the absolute freaking INVALIDATION or dismissal of everything that could possibly bring you a tiny crumb of pleasure, joy, or confidence.

    There’s nothing I’ve done since being with my present partner that he hasn’t somehow managed to suck the life from, whether it’s a trip to the gas station 2 blocks away, (oh, the police are out! you’re going to get a DUI!), to attempting to do something nice for his evil children, (that’s nice, but the girls really prefer something more simple), to just having a friend, (you can’t trust them, they’ll back-stab you, if they’re not already!), and so forth.

    He manages to find some way to undermine, criticize, or just deflate me at every turn and the really dumb thing is that his position on half of these things isn’t even how he really feels- it’s just to disagree with me! It’s really ridiculous, but it does take SUCH an enormous toll on you when it falls to these little niggling things over breathing or walking or washing the dishes…and it’s especially bad when you’re obviously depressed and would really benefit from some encouragement. Empathy and cooperation are underrated in their world, I guess.

    At the end of the day, all I know is that it sucks to be treated like an idiot. Moreover, it really fu__ing sucks to be treated like an idiot by one.

    My sympathy….

    • Yes, it really does suck the life out of you, doesn’t it!!!??? Sometimes I wonder how I keep on going at all. :{ I really do hope to one day be out of this and feel alive again at some point! Thank you for your comment! :} And for your sympathy. I hope you can leave, too.

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