random stuff

Not this past week-end, but the week-end before, my picture was in the newspaper!  The story was in a Sunday insert and it was about the program that I took earlier in the year.  There was a picture of me and a picture of me and my mentor.  It’s really good publicity for the program, so that is great!

Last week, I went again to the free seminar given by a lawyer about separation and divorce.  In the state that I live in, you have to be separated for a year before you can divorce. She said that when you separate, you can file for support at that point, but there is no guarantee that the paperwork will go through right away so you can get the money.  She said that she recommends having saved up enough money to live of off for nine months.  I don’t have that much money yet.

I keep looking at craigslist to see if there is anything that I can afford to rent.  Nothing yet. 

Last time I saw Julie, the therapist, I said something about crying.  She asked me who pays attention to me when I cry.  I told her nobody.  My daughter doesn’t like it when I cry and always wants me to not cry.  But my husband just ignores me.  I wonder why Julie asked me who pays attention to me when I cry?  I always figured that when I cry, I am just releasing my own frustration, sadness, anger, whatever.  But I guess, maybe crying is a signal of pain, that something is not right, and maybe it should be paid attention to.  I guess, too, that I have always cried alone.

This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to random stuff

  1. Also, be looking in your local news paper classifieds for rentals, and ask around – you’d be surprised who has connections. I’m excited for you!
    Do you have to file paperwork with the court to say you’re separated? Or do they just take your word for it?

  2. Melanie says:

    Sometimes you can lower the rent you actually pay with some creative negotiations. This only works when you are renting from a person and not a leasing office. Twice, when I needed it most, I have dropped my rent by by agreeing to providing a service.
    The first time I was 20 and I offered to sweep the steps, pick up trash that spilled from the containers, and toss out salt on the sidewalk in the winter. The landlord had just lost the person who had been doing that for him, so my offer was accepted and he dropped the rent the same amount he had been paying the other person to do the work and I saved $225 a month for a days worth of work.
    The second time I was 32. The house was higher than I wanted to pay and after talking to the landlord I realized he didn’t really want to keep up with the outside work or be called for little bothers. I offered to take over the lawn care and be responsible for little things like a dripping sink or a loose hinge (but not big things like backed up sewers) and asked if he could lower the rent for me taking the responsibility. He dropped the rent by $200 a month.

  3. redwallthoughts says:

    I always cry alone. It is partly embarrassment that I have these emotions, shame. Sometimes it is because I don’t know why i am crying, I need to release, scream. Sometimes because I don’t want my husband to know I am sad or angry or unhappy because he will think it’s his fault, when it’s not, it’s the situation we find ourselves in. For a long time it was because I didn’t want anyone to see me in as weak. But recently I cried with him and it brought us closer together. Now I don’t feel weak I feel supported. I know that one day you too will find the support you need so you will no longer cry alone.

    • I think crying can be very theraputic. And I have come to realize that I don’t need to be ashamed of my feelings and emotions; they are what they are. I am happy for you that you and your husband can be brought closer together. That is wonderful! And I appreciate your encouragement. :}

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