This is bothering me and I can’t get it out of my head, so I am going to write about it.
I’ve mentioned the UPS man before. (See post.) He’s nice, friendly, tall, kinda good-looking, nice, smiles at me. But only in a friendly way. He’s married, has 2 kids. You know, just another person inhabiting this planet.
Yes, I like him, but not “like him” as in have a crush on him or want to seduce him away from his wife or anything like that.
My problem is that I am a nice person.
One time awhile back, we were talking about cookies – I don’t remember why – and he said that he loved cookies. (I’ve noticed that most men do.) So, a couple of weeks ago, when we had a cookie exchange at work, I gave him some of the left-over chocolate chip cookies that I had made. I didn’t do it in a fancy way or anything (although I did blush, but that’s just me) and he took them good-naturedly and seemed appreciative and the next day he told me thank you again and said they were good. And things went on as business as usual.
A couple of days ago, I bought Kisses and York’s, in their holiday wrappings to set in a bowl at my desk (I’m the receptionist) for the people in my office to take when they walk by if they want to. Like I said, I’m nice.
The UPS man called that afternoon to ask if we had anything going out and we did and he said he was running late and asked me to set it out in the lobby for him, which I do when he is running late. So I did. And since he wouldn’t have access to the candy dish I set out, I put some of the Kisses and the Yorks on top of the packages.
Yesterday, he called to see if we had anything and we did. (We’re on the 4th floor so if he is really busy he will call to see if he needs to come up, to save himself time.) He said he would be up in a little bit. But, he didn’t come up. He has an assistant during holiday time, since it is so busy, and his assistant came up and got our UPS envelopes.
Which is fine. I don’t mind that.
The only thing is… what if I have made the UPS man uncomfortable? I didn’t want to. I didn’t mean to. I’m not trying to make him think I have a crush on him or anything. I just thought about being nice and sharing the candy I brought.
I don’t know. I am probably worrying about it too much and probably lots of offices give him candy and cookies this time of year and it is probably really no big deal and I need to stop worrying about it.
But sometimes I wonder if I should stop being “nice,” to anyone, anywhere, because I get afraid that I will be mis-understood.
Maybe now that I’ve written about it, I will have an easier time of “letting go.”