just another day in my life…

Wednesday morning, he asked me if I would buy food for the chickens when I went shopping.  (I go grocery shopping on Wednesday evenings after work.)  I told him that I couldn’t get to that store before it closed, but that I would buy chicken food on Thursday.  I told him that if he had told me the day before (Tuesday), I could have gotten it Tuesday evening when I picked up my cat from the vet as the vet’s office is right across the street from where I buy the chicken food.  He said he didn’t think about it the day before.  (Of course not.)  He said if he needed the chicken food before Thursday, that he would see if he had time to go to the store and buy it.

So, Thursday, after work, I go back to the gym for half an hour to get in cardio.  (I weight train during my lunch hour.)  While I’m changing into my workout clothes, he texts me and asks me if I am going to make dinner and tells me that he will be home about seven-thirty.  I text him back and tell him that no, I am not making dinner and that I will be home about seven thirty, too.

 After the gym, I go to a store where I can buy a yummy salad.  They were out of the one that I wanted, but they said they could make it for me.  I said I didn’t have time to wait – because I had to get to the feed store before it closed.  So I settle for some grilled chicken, even though I wanted the salad.

As I’m driving to the feed store, I’m thinking, why is chicken food more important than my salad?  I didn’t come up with an answer except that I am capable of getting food for myself but that the chickens have to rely on me to buy their food.

So I buy the chicken food and then go to the grocery store to buy Epsom salts to soak my aching legs in.

I come home and he’s not home, which is nice.

My younger daughter tells me about an honor she has received (another post) and then I soak in the tub with the Epsom salts.

He comes home after awhile and says, where have you been all evening?  So I tell him about my evening.  He says, why did you buy chicken food?  I said I would buy it.

What?  That’s not what I had gotten out of the conversation about the chicken food.  And when he bought the chicken food, why didn’t he tell me so I didn’t have to go out of my way to get it?  And I could have waited and gotten my grilled chicken Caesar salad after all.

And then he says, why didn’t you reply to my text?  I ask him, what text?  He says, the one about dinner and me getting home at seven-thirty.  (He wasn’t home at seven-thirty, by the way.)  I told him that I did reply, but then I looked at my cell phone, and it shows that message as a draft, so I guess it didn’t get sent.  But if he needed an answer, why didn’t he text again???

So, through all of this, I am feeling emotionally assaulted.  I had had a relatively pleasant evening, and then he comes at me in an accusatory manner, and blames me for things that weren’t my fault.  I go to sleep feeling exhausted emotionally.

This morning (Friday morning) I tell him that I will make dinner tonight, but that I won’t be home until seven.

He tells me it’s good that I am making dinner, that I should make dinner at least once a week so I don’t forget how.

Whatever.

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This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to just another day in my life…

  1. So you don’t forget how? Would it be offensive or comforting for a stranger to call your husband an ass at this particular moment? I’m calling him an ass.

  2. Sofia Leo says:

    Dick is a better word. I’m outraged for you.

  3. Thank you, Sofia. Sometimes when I these posts, I feel so stupid, like it makes no sense what I am trying to explain, and that maybe these shouldn’t bother me. It just sucks the life out of me. So it is very validating for you to be outraged for me!

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