I have money issues.
I feel very protective of the money that I earn.
I feel uncared for when he doesn’t work.
I feel punched in the gut when he tells me what I have to pay for, how much I owe him.
Even though these feelings come from my personal history with money, I also feel like he uses money and these feelings about money as a weapon against me.
It happened again last night.
I came home happy and cheerful because I had a couple good things in my day.
One I’ll tell you about in another post.
And the other, as silly as it may seem, was the fact that the little gym that I work out at now sells T-shirts with the gym logo and name on it. I was wishing the owner would offer T-shirts and now he does. So I was excited about this T-shirt.
I told him about these things that made me feel happy.
But then later, he said, I need to talk to you about a few things. And he pulled out the credit card bill and started naming things he expected me to pay him back for.
I guess I should have known better and not even put these things on the “family” credit card. I should have just paid for them in the first place and not even given him the occasion.
I went to sleep feeling like I was being punished for having a good day.