I told him that I felt like that he didn’t like it that I went to the gym.
Of course, he told me that he didn’t mind at all that I go the gym.
But still, I wonder.
He has said things, off-handedly, that make me think that. It’s just an impression.
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This is so stupid. I ate too much cake, too much sugar and now I can’t think straight. Ugh. Why do I do that? Why do I eat too much and make myself feel bad? I wish I could just die. I am so sick of EVERY #$%@ THING!!!! I don’t want to do this anymore. Not any of it. I wish I could have sex. I wish someone loved me and would make love with me. I want sex so bad. This is so stupid to sit here and write this. I sit here and pretend like everything is fine. It’s not. I am screaming inside. I hate this. I hate everything right now. I guess not everything. I don’t hate my daughters. And I like the people here at work. And I am going to go talk to Julie in a few minutes.
I wish my life would straighten out. It just keeps going and going and going. I hate money. I wish I wasn’t scared. I wish I was brave enough to leave.