This morning, he said, I wish you wouldn’t assume bad things about me, like that I left the animal carcasses in the path and that I burned out the light bulb. (A light bulb in the bathroom was burned out this morning and I changed it but I also asked him if he knew it was burned out.)
I simply said, okay. I decided not to go into why I make these assumptions, etc. I just said okay.
And I wasn’t going to say anything else.
But then when my daughter left, she was so upset and she said that she couldn’t take much more of this.
So when I went back in the house after telling her bye, I told him that I wanted him to move out. I told him I didn’t care where. I said he could stay with his parents, or stay with Josh, or get a trailer, or even stay in his shop. I just wanted him to move out.
He said he was trying to be kind and loving and patient and give me what I need.
I said, well, obviously that wasn’t working.
He said he takes out the trash and does the dishes and works hard and pays the bills.
I told him that that isn’t what relationships are built on. I told him that he has no relationship with our daughters, that we never have deep, personal conversations, that I can’t discuss anything with him that makes him feel uncomfortable.
He said, like what?
I repeated the above list. And I said that he doesn’t pay all the bills and that I do more housework than he does.
I told him that a man who has no relationship with his children has problems and needs help.
He asked, what did I do?
I said, I screamed, YOU DID NOTHING! YOU DID NOTHING! I told him that children need a daddy and that he did nothing to be a daddy.
Then I said I had to go to work, but that I wanted him to move out.
So a few minutes later while I was putting on my shoes, he said, we can talk about this tonight.
I said, talk about what?
He said, whatever you want.
I told him that I wanted him to move out, for our daughter’s sake.
He said that he knows that she hates him and that he just gives her space.
I said, she needs more space. I want you to move out.
He said, I don’t think that is the answer.
I told him again that I wanted him to move out and I left for work.