“How to Love Yourself”

(This is a handout from a workshop I attended several months ago.)

1.  Live without self-criticism (or criticism to others).

2. Be gentle and forgiving of mistakes.

3.  Have positive self-thoughts/positive affirmations.

4.  Don’t engage in negative thoughts or behaviours.  Change your life and change your thoughts.

5.  Clean up your life (get chaos out of your life).

6.  Turn the computer and TV off – the music on!

7.  Reward yourself (words, baths, stillness in the sun, workout, take a walk).

8.  Daily prayer, meditation, gratitude.

9.  Laugh, dance, exercise – love your body/move your body.

10.  Set limits; don’t put unrealistic demands on yourself.

11.  Ask!  for help, for comfort, for love, for hugs.

12.  Balance your life, work, leisure, emotions and spirit.

13.  Learn to let things go – stop torturing yourself, constantly questioning your decisions.

14.  Smile as often as possible.

This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to “How to Love Yourself”

  1. OneDayAtaTime says:

    Yep! Yep! Yep! Yes, I love all of that and I did come down to reality that it is impossible to have all of that and Yes keep having that hope, the dreams, and the drive to figure out all you need… to figure it out. For your best interest, for your desires, and I believe he should be putting his best foot forward too. Go to counseling….. something must have gotten you two there.

    I remember going with one another and I was……. trying to figure out how to get the……. togetherness, the embarrass of one another arms wrapped around one another…. concurring everything that gets in your way. In the 1st grown up movie, in the middle of the movie…… Gloria said: Life can be difficult sometimes, it gets bumpy. What with family and kids and things not going exactly like you planed. But that’s what makes it interesting. In life the first act is always exciting. The second act… that is where the depth comes in. (I watched that movie 3x and just caught on to that quote and I am thinking that’s going to be my motto for a bit and see where that takes me.)

    Praying for you and yours!

    I feel like now I am in a different place today: Why not me, why not him? … I can love him up some day’s, I can’t stand him on some days too. Either way… I still would have the same problems that I have with myself, he would too. I know the man loves me, he doesn’t know how to love me how I want to be loved. I love him how I want to be loved on then he gets his and I am waiting on him to give it right back to me. I am just talking out loud, I am figuring what I can be satisfied with I an guessing. All this is a little a lot easier than finding out you have cancer….. in I.C.U. and/or finding out your dyeing. (I just landed in another place now. I just had my best friends, sister’s husband die. He didn’t have time to organize, protect, sadly enough I am sure not enough time with his family… he woke up, found out he had cancer, a few hard weeks passed, then admitted in ICU, stayed up in the hospital for a couple of days, then he became tired, just so tired and then passed at 57, just made me start thinking I should just be happy with my circumstances. Confusing on the heart when you hit The Second Act….. where the depth comes in. Gloria, and Grown Up’s #1 my eyebrow came up, looking at life again.)

    God Bless His Sole, I love you friend.

  2. mixedemotions says:

    such great words to live by but very very difficult. I didn’t grow up to love myself, I grew up to listen, be quiet and stand pretty. But I had my own mind and I didn’t think that was right, my poor parents had no ideas what to do with me especially when I came home one day with some funky assed colored hair :) but I’m glad I held my own. And yes I do love myself now even though probably not enough, that’s why I “allowed” my PA to walk all over me. I read somewhere that if you cannot love yourself, how do you expect others to love you. And this is SO SO true, if you do not treat yourself to kindness and forgiveness and allow yourself joy, how can we in turn expect that treatment from others?? We should all be tolerant of ourselves and in turn we will be of others.

    I should pray more that’s for sure, I say thank you often as well but I sometimes forget to enjoy the small things of life. Thanks for reminding me with these kind words.

  3. OneDayAtaTime says:

    Ha I loved the hair coloring remark. That reminds me of Cindy Lauper. Your good people, I have to say I changed my hair too while living at home and loved it when I did it. Drove everyone nuts. Now these days if you haven’t done that before the age of 17 then your not living some think. Hahaha, what memories we must admit!

  4. daXmom says:

    Healing seems like a long process, sometimes. When I first attended a support group, I couldn’t believe the comment, “I’m grateful for the alcoholic who got me here.” Later, I understood how my own background set me up to marry him. Over time, those years in Al-Anon helped me see myself more clearly and know the direction I wanted to go. At the same time, I found that others’ lists could overwhelm me, so I would pick one or two items for the moment. Stay with your healing path. You’ll enjoy benefits from it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s