just need to “talk”….

I think I may have offended/hurt somebody and I feel bad about it.  In Toastmasters, I am chairing our humorous speech contest/evaluator contest club meeting.   Our president had announced someone who was willing to be the speaker who would be evaluated for the contest.   And then I officially asked her to speak for us.  The only thing, it was supposed to be a secret who this speaker would be.  So I had to uninvite her.  And I feel bad that she had to be uninvited.   I’m afraid I hurt her feelings.

I know her feelings aren’t my responsibility.   But I still feel bad about it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This next thing is harder.

My husband’s dad had a stroke yesterday afternoon.   I guess he didn’t tell anybody but it became apparent this morning that he needed to go to the hospital.  So my husband spent the day and the evening with his dad in the hospital.  His dad is staying there overnight.

I really feel for his parents.   His mom has had bone cancer for a couple of years now and that has been difficult.  The cancer seems to be in remission, but she has had other health issues and ends up being in and out of the hospital every few months.

And now his dad had a stroke.   My husband said that he is somewhat paralyzed on the left side of his body.  I know this is very difficult for his dad.  His dad has always been a very active, very physically hard-working man, so to be disabled like this will be very hard on him.

I know all of this is hard on my husband, too.

Please don’t misunderstand me.   I know this isn’t about me.  But when he called me this morning to tell me that he was at the hospital with his dad and that his dad had had a stroke, he didn’t tell me about the paralysis.  He just said his dad had a minor stroke.  He didn’t tell me about the paralysis until he got home about ten o’clock at night.  I felt so hurt and frustrated that he couldn’t even tell me what was going on with his dad.  I guess I shouldn’t let it bother me because that is just the way it is with him.  I know he needs me when he is going through something hard, even though he has a hard time expressing it.

Tonight he was talking about how nice the hospital was and about the test they were running and about wondering how his mom would be looked after if his dad wasn’t able to drive and then he goes over to the kitchen cabinet and he picks up two eggplants that were on the cabinet and he says, I know you don’t like eggplant, but aren’t these just beautiful?   They were beautiful eggplants so I agreed with him that they were.

But I’m thinking, your dad is in the hospital after having had a stroke and you’re talking about eggplants?????  I know this is what he does, but it still always surprises me.

He will go back to the hospital first thing in the morning and he said his dad should be able to come home tomorrow.

Anyhow, these thing are on my mind and I needed to get them out.  Thanks for listening.

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This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to just need to “talk”….

  1. mourninglight says:

    It’s difficult to comfort someone who isn’t comfortable with needing or wanting you, and who habitually disconnects and doesn’t seem to allow feelings to penetrate very deeply. I encourage you to just keep integrity with yourself, so that when all is said and done, you feel at peace with who you are.
    My mil is in the hospital (thankfully, a thousand miles away), and I’ve had to disconnect from my own concern, and just try to be supportive whenever he does want to talk about it (not that often). Some painful things have hit in the years together here, and when I’m brought to my knees or the floor face down in prayer weeping, he seems to… rebound? fairly quickly.

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