Last night, when I got home, I asked him why he talked to a lawyer. He said, “It just happened.” Huh? But I let him get away with that. He knew it was a dumb thing to say. I asked him again why he cancelled the credit card. He said he was advised to. He said he was concerned about the stability of the marriage. (Yeah, me, too!!!) And he said there was concern about me going on a $25,0000 shopping spree. I thought that was just mean – maybe he would do that, but that is not something I would do. I do think the whole cancelling the credit card thing was only to be mean and spiteful. That’s all there is to it. Oh, and it is a MAJOR control thing!!!
I asked him what else. He told me that I have to buy my own chocolate, that I have to buy my own vitamins and supplements and that I have to buy my own protein powder that I drink for lunch. So, the other day he lied to me when he said he was still going to support me. And I have to pay for the inspection and the registration on the van.
He said that I used to be frugal, but that I am not anymore. Ummm, I think he’s a little wrong there. I know I am not the most frugal wife on the planet, but I also don’t shop with reckless abandon as he tries to imply. I would say that it is more a case of the price of everything going up and his business not doing so well that makes him say that I am not a frugal shopper.
He said other stuff, too. Oh, he went back to the massage. He is so mad about that! He said that I won’t have a physical relationship with him and yet I am willing to have a physical relationship with another man. I told him that getting a professional massage is a professional relationship, not a physical relationship. He said that going to a prostitute was a professional relationship, too. I asked him if he thought I had sex with the guy and at least he had the decency to say, no.
He also wanted to know how much money I have, but I wouldn’t tell him.
The whole conversation was just mean. It wasn’t two adults hashing out issues. He was just mean. There was nothing else about it.
After all the mean things he said to me, he then said, “I wish we could have a normal, loving marriage.”
Then he said that the “Rescue Your LoveLife” book says that there should be a time limit to arguments and that it was time to stop. I think he was going to give me a hug, but I moved out of the room so he couldn’t. To me, it wasn’t even an argument. It was more like a beating, like being abused, cut down, berated. I didn’t say anything else to him the rest of the evening. I just couldn’t. I felt like the breath had been knocked out of me.
This morning, I went to get the checkbook so I could write a check for cash so I could have money to buy bread for my daughter. The checkbook wasn’t where he keeps it, so it seems like he hid it.
That didn’t stop me. I just went to the bank, gave them the account number and took out some cash. I could have taken all of it and closed the account, but that is not the way I care to behave at the moment. I did take about a quarter of it – there actually isn’t much there – and I know that he is going to be furious when he figures that out.
Anyhow, his mom is in the hospital and she is not doing well at all. He’s spending the night with her at the hospital. I do feel sorry for his mom, but I am glad to have the room to myself tonight. I was kind of a basket case today, so it will be nice to have a little peace.