Tonight I asked him to sleep in the living room.
He was quiet for a long time. Then he asked, Why?
I told him that I thought I might sleep better. (I’ve been having trouble sleeping.)
He said the sofa was too uncomfortable, that he couldn’t sleep on the sofa.
I told him that he could put the cushion on the floor. (The sofa has just one long cushion.)
He said, okay, he would try it.
I got a long talk about that he doesn’t know how to love me, he tries to do everything to make me happy, he can’t do anything right, no matter how hard he tries, he loves me very much, he cares about me and wants me to be happy, he just wants to hold me and love me and make me feel safe, I never do anything for the relationship, I never suggest anything we can do together, he knows there are things I don’t like about the house, but he can’t do anything about it, I don’t treat him right, I am hard-hearted, I don’t even know what I want, and, finally, that I don’t have to hate him.
Let’s see here – I would say manipulation, control, pouting, victimization, punishment, emotional abuse – what else am I missing?