I want to tell him…

I want to tell him it’s over.

I want to tell him that I can’t do this anymore.

I want to tell him that I want a divorce.

But I’m scared.

This entry was posted in covert abuse, divorce, emotional abuse, family, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to I want to tell him…

  1. Childofthetruth says:

    Just do it, like the proverbial “ripping off the band aid”. You will wish you had done it sooner! Hang in there.

  2. mel220 says:

    I’m going through a divorce right now. 30 days down, 60 to go. The first two weeks sucked. But I’m coming up on week 5 now and I feel so much better. So FREE!!!! I still hate him though, lol.

  3. livingthelie says:

    I know exactly how you feel. I can taste the words in my mouth and I want to spit them in his face. But I can’t. Can’t because I’m scared. But mostly I can’t because of the kids. Mine are younger than yours and I need to keep the household intact for a few more years. But there are many days I question that decision.

    Yesterday was my birthday. I’ve learned to expect nothing and I got what I expected. As we were going to bed he said “sorry your birthday got messed up.” Really? I don’t think he’s one bit sorry. You can be sorry if you try and it doesn’t work out. But if you put forth no effort, you cannot be sorry. He sat there watching the news, yammering about something or other and I just wanted to punch him in the mouth.

    At least I got to have a glass of wine and watch the last couple episodes of House of Cards in peace. So there’s that.

    I just found your blog a couple of days ago and I feel like I could have written every post. It’s comforting and heartbreaking at the same time that others are going through the same misery. Please keep writing, you give voice to so many things I can’t speak about for myself.

    • mourninglight says:

      Just curious as to how many here have non-birthdays with your p.a.
      Raises hand.


      • chosetobehappy says:

        oh I have had birthdays but most of them have been ruined because he gets stressed out about the day. He’s done that to the kids on their bdays and on all of our Holidays. I can count on the fingers of one hand when it wasn’t ruined.

      • Karen says:

        He has sabotaged most of my birthdays. I used to think it was my imagination but I think he couldn’t stand not being the center of attention. And it was never anything obvious to others. He would just find some reason to be annoyed with me and treat me like dirt. Or be late and hold up my celebration. Or get me a gift but nothing I ever wanted. And on and on and on.

      • Sue says:

        A few years ago I was painting my house and ordered take-out because it was late and we were hungry. I asked him if he could go pick it up since I was painting and on the ladder and he said “oh, that’s what we’re doing for your birthday?”. At least he knew it was that day because he has mostly forgotten most of the other 26 years.

  4. chosetobehappy says:

    Go for it. What’s the worse than can happen…. he’ll try to convince you that he loves you, blah blah blah… so what, you know otherwise. Then take your daughter and get the heck out of there. You DESERVE a better life for you and your girls.

  5. Sofia Leo says:

    That first declaration is sooooo liberating! Even if you don’t walk out right that minute you will find yourself getting stronger the more you say it. Oh, it won’t change him a bit, except in the short term, but what it will do for YOU will be profound. I know from experience…

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