financial support?

My van needs work.  The estimate was close to two thousand dollars.

He said he would pay half of it.

I already got the brakes taken care of, and he did indeed pay for half of that.

Now I need to get a part in the transmission replaced and a blower for the heat and A/C replaced.

A couple of days ago, I brought up getting the repairs done and that he had said he would pay for half of it.  He told me that he didn’t have the money for the repairs.  After all, he had to pay taxes and pay for supplies for his business.

I told that when he did this to me, that when he didn’t support me financially, it really hurt me, that it made me feel like I don’t matter to him.  (I was very calm and I was trying to be open and honest with him.)

He said, very sarcastically, do I matter to you?

So I simply repeated what I said, that it hurt me very much when he didn’t support me financially.

He didn’t say anything for a long time and just kept on doing what he was doing.  I was beginning to think he wasn’t going to answer me at all.

Then he went over to his desk and came back.

He pretty much flung several hundred dollar bills down where I was sitting and said, very pout-y, very sarcastically, I hope you feel better.

And then he left, saying he had to go see a customer.

I hurt all day long.

I didn’t want to hurt all day long.  I didn’t want his actions to have that power over me.  But they did.

He came back after a little bit, and he talked about what his customer said and local gossip and stuff.   He seemed happy and cheerful all day long and I wanted to scream.

What he did was not what I asking for from him.  I was asking for loving care, for tender financial support, not having my request thrown at me – literally.

This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, family, marriage, money, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to financial support?

  1. lonelywife07 says:

    Yep, just like a 5 yr old child! Rude, and then, with their 10 second attention span, they act like nothing happened!! Drives me INSANE when my H does that to me! I do have to admit though….my H would pay for the car, no problem….being cheap isn’t his thing! He likes giving me things, so he feels good about himself and can brag about it for several days!

  2. chosetobehappy says:

    I’m going to repeat myself here but… asshole.

    lonelywife07 – mine is very generous also, I wonder if he feels like it cancels out the bad behaviour? It used to when we were younger, now I just feel bad for days because I know that it doesn’t matter all that much to him, it’s just stuff. And then the other shoe falls, and it starts all over again. The “stuff” doesn’t make me happy anymore, it just makes me sad.

  3. sulkysnail says:

    My husband and I had a similar interaction two weeks ago. I told him that certain household items are necessary to me to feel content with my home space and he started telling me how irresponsible I’ve been with money and how I want to spend money On things I want but always refuse to pay for things for him. He stormed off-leaving me feeling angry and confused as to how this turned into such a huge confrontation- then returns with a 6 pack of beer and throws $20 at me (because money is so important to me he says). I left him the next day. I thought I would feel sad when I left, but really I’ve only felt relieved. I’ve realized that I don’t respect the person I become around him, and that’s not good for either of us.

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