sex tonight…

He wants sex tonight.

I want to die.

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10 Responses to sex tonight…

  1. Seeing the Light says:

    Please don’t do it.

  2. ChickenLadyMovedToTown says:

    Oh sh*t! I died for you, too.

  3. givemeaboxofchocolates says:

    Well, you get to decide, so make a decision and simply tell him yes or no. I suggest no further discussion until another time.

  4. I remember how mine use to hound me all the time knowing I didn’t want to and hated it. I finally one day just decided enough was enough. One morning we got up and told him just matter of factually that I was not having sex with him for any reason and not to even bother asking. He didn’t like it and of course wanted to know why. I told him that all he cared about was what he wanted not how I felt or it made me feel. That he didn’t care about the fact that our marriage was over or trying to fix things. That he didn’t care about me or he wouldn’t keep pushing all the time and doing it knowing how I felt. That he didn’t care about me I didn’t care how he felt about the chose I made to no longer have sex with him and that I didn’t want him sleeping in the same bed with me anymore either because I was not conferrable with him sleeping with me after all that had happen. He has not slept in my bed since and we have not been together since then. With mine he would get mad and not like it and tell me how wrong I was and blah blah blah but if I really put my foot down and said this is how it is he wouldn’t push it. Just like sleeping on the couch he didn’t like it but he did it. I just decided I was done being used and treated that way and I was done tip toe around to keep from hurting his feelings or upsetting him when he could careless about me or mine.

    • lonelywife07 says:

      BRAVO! When we wives stop laying down and letting our husbands walk all over us….then and ONLY then will we MAYBE see a change!!
      Why should our husbands change ANYTHING if they suffer NO consequences?? Would YOU change, if there were no consequences to your abusive behavior?

      • GainingStrength says:

        Mine chose change…he’s leaving! :D

        Oh I see, you mean changing his abusive behavior and helping make our marriage work. Hmmm…let me think long and hard on that one…the answer is a resounding NO. To him consequences just magnified how mean I was to him.

      • Very true he knew all that was wrong and didn’t care still didn’t even after all that. We are in the middle of a divorce but still having to live together because of things that have happen the last few years. But he has his room I have mine. I just said to him the other day how he still only talks to me when he is telling me how badly he wants me and trying to get me to sleep with him. With all that is wrong and we are in the middle of a divorce still nothing about anything else or why things are the way they are or wanting to fix them. He said to me you said there is not chance of us getting back together. I did and mean it and don’t plan to ever change my mind. It took me two years to relaise it wasn’t me I wasn’t the one in the wrong and that it was ok to say no more and that I deserve better and to be treated better. I’m not going back and things have only gotten worse since we have had to live together. But when he said that I said so there is no chance of us getting back together and you know that and know that we aren’t but it is still ok for you to try to get me in bed every time the wind blows and you want to and there is nothing wrong with that or the fact that you didn’t bother to try and fix things so they wouldn’t be this way. He just went into his he wanted to he should have this and was going to. I just walked off.

  5. lonelywife07 says:

    I’ve been reading Leslie Vernicks book, The Emotionally Destructive Marriage…and this is what she has to say on the subject of sex with your abusive PA husband!!
    http://www.leslievernick.com/2012/04/30/does-god-care-more-about-sex-than-marriage/

    http://www.leslievernick.com/2012/07/02/blog-topic-my-husband-pressures-me-sexually-to-do-things-i-dont-like-whats-my-responsibility-here/

    I HIGHLY recommend this book for ALL of you who are reDing this blog! It’s really opened my eyes to just how much I have let myself be “used” and expecting nothing in return!
    I have told PA Man repeatedly that I don’t feel anything anymore when it comes to sex…and that I feel used…and he says “I’m sorry you feel that way”….and yet he still wants sex regularly….how sad is that??
    He doesn’t care how I feel…he’s so use to getting what he wants, that he pushes my feelings aside, gets his needs meet, and goes about his day. Well. That has stopped.
    Until he gets his act together, and I see a difference in him….sex is now a four letter word in this house!!
    God loves ME just as much as He loves PA Man….and MY God is grieved that my feelings are disregarded, that I’m a body that is conveinent for PA Mans sexual pleasure!
    This isn’t what marriage is supposed to be…and I’m the one who has to stop the madness!!

  6. GainingStrength says:

    Single Parent, mine is leaving soon. It is soooo hard to live with them after the divorce is started. They act like nothing is the matter until they feel like telling you it’s all your fault. He tells me “I’m telling you like it is now, how do you like it?”, “You wanted the truth, it hurts don’t it?” and it goes on and on. And the pure hatred on his face as he’s telling me this, chilling. The hatred and contempt in his voice matches his face. And all he ever says is IT’S YOUR FAULT, I tried…yeah I know I slipped up (slipped up? Huh!) and made mistakes (mistakes? Huh!), but you haven’t helped me (help you? Huh!) and now you are mean to me (now, how about the 30 odd years before? Huh!).

    It’s mind blowing the twists and turns he uses to try and confuse me. It’s like I see him in High Definition now, clear as a bell what he is doing. Mine is now telling me I forced him out! WHAT?!? I held a gun to his head and forced him out? What does “forced out” mean to him. I believe it means that I wouldn’t give in and go back to “normal” so he could continue to abuse me at his leisure. Oh the crazy-making, it never stops with them.

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