clutter, anyone???

Do any of you struggle with too much clutter?  Too much stuff?

Can anyone tell me why I can have a box (or multiple boxes) full of stuff that I will not think about for months, or even years, and yet, when I open the box, I can’t get rid of it?

Why is that?

Does anybody have any thoughts or ideas?

This entry was posted in covert abuse, divorce, emotional abuse, family, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to clutter, anyone???

  1. GainingStrength says:

    I think that collecting stuff is a way for us to try to fill what is missing in our life. It gives us something to do when our lives are a mess. When I had to get rid of stuff to clean the house to sell, I found that getting rid of it was like lifting a weight off my shoulders. As the stuff left the house I was amazed at how not sad I was to get rid of the stuff. I still have probably too much stuff, but it’s a lot less than I had. It doesn’t hurt as much as you think it will to get rid of it. I also didn’t want to hang on to things that would remind me of my marriage and abuser.

  2. Jane D. says:

    I also have too much. . . although culturally it’s easy to over-accumulate.

    I can easily get rid of clothing and I have a pretty small wardrobe already.

    Some of my stuff represents a life I wish I had, or the potential to have something better. I went through a period during which I collected dishes, serving ware and cookbooks. I really wanted to have pleasant meals and also dinner parties, and while those were an impossibility it didn’t stop my desire for them. I’ve gotten rid of some of it.

    Some of my stuff is part of a past I still kind of cling to. I experienced infertility – for a LONG time. I am past the family building part of my life. It’s very hard for me to get rid of the baby and young child items.

    I have accumulated a lot of books. Books were the comfort objects of my childhood. I don’t think it takes much analysis to figure out why I started to really accumulate them about three years ago.

    Sometimes I am in the right mood to get rid of stuff. I have also started to look at my items and thinking, “If I had to move quickly, would I take this?” I really need to get back to the weeding.

  3. marsocmom says:

    That’s what helps me the most, too, being in the right mood and imagining that I am moving by myself to a smaller place. What would I take? Another thing that helps is if I haven’t used it/worn it/needed it in a year, or two years, I probably don’t really need it. I do keep things that are sentimental, like baby clothes, but those have been whittled down to one or two boxes, easy to stash in a bedroom closet. We might get to host an exchange student next year, another reason to clean out the clutter for someone more permanent than just an afternoon visitor. Good luck!

  4. One Day @ a Time says:

    I agree with the other posts.. I think it’s our way of emotionally dealing with everything.. Or like Jane D said.. We’re holding on to a life we wish we had… My husband is always on my case about it and I know my physical positions are one of the few things I have left that he hasn’t taken away from me or made his own so I’ve had a hard time parting with them…
    I recently got rid of a lot of stuff and I can tell you it felt amazing.. It’s a just a matter of realizing the I never needed it before so there was no need to hold on to it now…

  5. When I moved from the marital home last year, I had to dismantle 25 years of stuff that accumulated in my marriage. So. much. stuff. Since I knew I was downsizing, that made letting go of all the one-job wonders (esp. kitchen gadgets) easier. I only kept what I really loved and used, and was multi-purpose. I have the most trouble letting go of sentimental items. I still have multiple boxes of my kids’ special baby clothes, school papers & artwork, and toys. On the other hand, I went through the 6 (!) boxes of school and artwork and whittled it down to one box. I took photos of the things I was recycling and plan to make a coffee table art book of their masterpieces.

    Knowing I had no other option was the key. I was moving from a 2700 sq. ft. house to an 1100 sq. ft. condo. In the end, I feel liberated. What I kept is truly just about everything I need.

  6. paescapee says:

    I agree with 3cats above, I did the same and it’s very liberating. Possessions don’t really matter in the end. However, and sorry to sound too deep, letting go of stuff I believe can be related to difficulties in dealing with feelings of loss and disappointment. Probably related to big losses in childhood that were unsupported? starting small and chucking just one or two little things daily might help, getting used to the feelings of loss and anxiety that might make a mistake and you may need it again in the future. Learning to cope with disappointment is also very freeing. To take it one step further- I also associated it with my inability to let go of my terrible relationship.

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