“It could be worse…”

“It could be worse…”

When you are feeling down and someone says this to you, do you feel better?

Or do you feel insane?  Frustrated?  Angry?   (fill in the blank) ?

I’d really like to know.

This entry was posted in covert abuse, divorce, emotional abuse, family, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to “It could be worse…”

  1. If someone else says that to me, I feel diminished. If I say it to myself, it helps.

  2. GainingStrength says:

    I agree with married. The phrase I’m hearing from a family member lately…you’re only making it worse. This one drives me crazy. I try to explain that you can’t deal with these people “normally”, but I still get “you’re only making it worse.” :(

  3. Worse. It makes me feel worse. Plus, any sentence that starts with “At least … ” should just stop. If someone wants to say do thing positive, it should be said without a comparison to whatever is making the listener sad.

  4. Seeing the Light says:

    Same here. I agree with marriedwithouthusband. It is invalidating when someone else says it to me. It downplays what I am going through. When I am ready and can handle it, I can exhort myself with the realization that there are worse situations and others who are suffering more. Right now I have someone I have tried to share with who has dumped a lot of stuff about their personal life on me over many years, and I am getting “you’re making yourself upset” (like if I wouldn’t talk about it, I wouldn’t be upset). No, the abusive treatment is making me upset and I am communicating it.

  5. Jane D. says:

    I also agree with Married. We seem to be in agreement on this.

    I’m at a point in my healing where this kind of stuff bothers me less. . . partly because I’ve learned not to share with people who say stuff like this to me.

  6. fern says:

    That simple phrase makes me feel better, because it’s true and as such helps to rouse me from any self-pity I may find my self succumbing to. I really can’t stand self pity and am determined to not allow myself to get mired in that trap. Yes, I have a really, really crappy unpleasant marriage to an abusive PA Narc. Yes, it causes tremendous stress and misery in my live. And yet, compared to what others in the world must deal with — third world countries for example, where women live in horrendous conditions, slums full of poverty, filth and disease, working in sweat shops for peanuts, suffering in abusive relationships that weren’t even of their own choosing and with no hope of ever getting out or even having one’s basic human rights recognized — hearing that old, trusty phrase, ‘It could always be worse’, reminds me to drop the self pity and start counting the many many blessings I am indeed very, very lucky and privileged to have….

  7. lonelywife07 says:

    I hate it….and I have a friend, someone who was married to a cheating PA, so she should know better, who always tells me this! It has really made a difference in our friendship, because if she can’t fully support me…I don’t need her in my life!!

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