another therapist

I talked with another therapist person this morning.

My company has an Employee Assistance Program that offers counseling and referrals for further help as needed.  I can have three free counseling sessions with a person from the EAP company.   I found out, too, that they have a crisis number that I can call 24/7 to talk to someone anytime I need to.

So I talked with a therapist with the EAP company this morning.

I told her about my childhood trauma and about other “abandonments” in my life.  I told her some about my marriage, but the session was more about me and my overall life rather than just the marriage specifically.  Which was fine.

She was very kind and very compassionate.  She listened very well and she seemed to comprehend everything that I was telling her.  And she did not suggest counseling for my “marriage.”

She did tell me that I had depression – no surprise there – and anxiety.

I spoke of it in terms of fear, but she said it was anxiety, and not fear.

She said that she thought that therapy with the right person would help me a lot so I don’t have to keep struggling with these things.  She also suggested medication, but she was understanding of the fact that I don’t want to use medication if I can at all avoid it.

In Toastmasters yesterday, after I had already made this morning’s appointment, one of my friends there gave me the name of a therapist who helped him tremendously.

I had told the therapist this morning that I was  looking for someone to help me with the childhood trauma of abandonment and how it has affected me, so she was going to help me find someone to work with.  But I also told her about the therapist that was recommended to me.  And she knew that therapist!  So she was able to tell me that she thought that he would be a good counselor for me to work with.

She did say that if for some reason it did not work out with this counselor, that I could come back to her and we could talk again and she could help me find someone else.

She was so kind and so understanding and so encouraging.  It was really comforting.

Even though initially I was a little apprehensive about going to talk to her, I am so very, very glad that I did.

And I think I am going to send her a card telling her thank you.

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This entry was posted in codependency, covert abuse, divorce, emotional abuse, family, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive husband, relationships and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to another therapist

  1. How exciting!
    Well, you know what I mean. That little thrill you get when you know you’re doing the right thing and are expecting to remedy issues that may have been neglected for far too long.
    No, I think “exciting” is in fact the word I’m looking for.
    I’m very happy for you.
    I’ve had professionals as well as friends and family suggest anti-depressants as a means by which to cope with some of my own pain. I’ve never taken that advice simply sue to the fact that the disclaimers so often tied to those types of medications warn of a potential risk of increased “suicidal thoughts”, which for the most part are the very types of thoughts I was looking to decrease.
    However, I was prescribed some anti-anxiety medication once which I took and almost immediately saw some positive effects from. Unfortunately, in an instance of weakness I abused those drugs leading to a terrifying experience which nearly left my children orphans.
    I’ve mentioned in the past my own less than productive experience with a therapist but I do believe there are some definite benefits to gained from that approach. In fact, as of last night I’ve taken the first step in giving that approach another shot. In addition, I’ve manned up, am currently dealing with my fear of talking with my children about the disease that killed their mother and the 50/50 chance each of them have of suffering the same fate and am now, again as of last night, having a therapist come into our home to meet with all of us as a family. The first session was very productive. I think it all comes down to finding a true PROFESSIONAL with whom you can be totally honest and open.
    I’m once again VERY happy to hear you’re serious about taking care of yourself.

    I’m also ecstatic and somewhat shocked to hear that perhaps my little prayer for you in your health insurance dilemma may have helped. The resolution you described in that particular issue was totally unforeseen and as such may in fact be credited to God.

    Sorry if I sound a little scatter brained tonight. I had some friends over for dinner in a conscious effort to avoid watching live as our current president attempted to justify his latest open refusal to keep his oath of office but as they just left I’m listening to his failed rationalization as I respond and having a great deal of difficulty focusing currently. Perhaps this wasn’t the best time to respond to you but I had already started before the rerun began and I truly am happy and incredibly excited for you.

    All the best sweetie!

    • newshoes123 says:

      Wow!! that’s amazing Igetit – so glad you did that, it sounds like you’ve made a huge step this week. Very happy for you too.

    • I’m hopeful that the therapist that I’m going to go see will make a difference. I am so tired of struggling so much all of the time. I’m glad you found someone to work with your family; you have been through a LOT!!! I hope that it goes well for all of you. I want my daughters to get therapy before they get too much older so they don’t screw up their lives like I’ve screwed up mine. (Pardon my French.) They don’t seem interested in therapy, but I do know that they could use the help. I know this dysfunctional situation has hurt them. I’m sure it must be hard to talk with your children about their mom’s illness. I would think, though, that they will respect you for it in the long run. And I hope and pray that all of you won’t have to face the disease again.

      About the medication – I am scared of side effects and I am scared of addiction and I also don’t want to lose who I am. But I also don’t want to be depressed for the rest of my life. Maybe someday I will find the answers I need.

      You don’t ever need to apologize for your comments. I think we’re a pretty understanding bunch here!

      Thank you for your encouragement – I really do appreciate what you write to me.

  2. WritesinPJ's says:

    I’d forgotten you were in Toastmasters! I can’t remember if you already told how you got involved, but I’d love to hear more about it. Maybe it would be a good outlet for me.

    I went the whole crash and try the Rx route. I should blog about it… I will say that taking an anti-depressant did absolutely nothing to change his behavior ;P

  3. newshoes123 says:

    So glad that worked out for you dear. It’s very important that you are able to have an outlet to release your thoughts, this therapist sounds like they would be great for you.

    I’m still going to mine and it’s doing me wonders. Today I’m not doing so well though… I’m having terrible nightmares and I just can’t seem to get some good sleep even though I’m sleeping in a bed right now. This is new and I’m not really sure why it’s happening. Will be going back soon though just to get things off my chest and perhaps find out how to get rid of those nightmares as soon as possible.

    Take good care of yourself and let us know how it goes with your new therapist.

    • Thank you. I will. I have an appointment for Dec. 16th. I wish it wasn’t so far away, but I guess I will make it. I’m am so tired of all of this. I want to feel better. I want things to be better. Maybe there is no knight in shining armor but I do want my life to somehow be a little better, or at least feel, a little better than it does now. I am so tired of struggling all the time.

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