I received this email from my sister yesterday; she is two years younger than I am.
Last night we were watching a MacGuiver episode and something really stood out to me. I don’t know if you have watched much MacGuiver, but there is a zaney character in there named Jack Dalton. He was talking about never knowing his parents. His dad was killed in WWII shortly after Jack was born, and his mom gave him up for adoption. (Later in the show we learned that his mom was 17 and so overcome with grief that she couldn’t even take care of herself, let alone her baby/toddler.) But it was Jack’s comment that really struck me. He said, “I wasn’t good enough to keep.”
In the Captivating book she talks about the wounds we have received and the messages that go along with those wounds. You and I know and understand full well that when we were little Mom was too sick to take care of us, and that’s why we were given to other people to take care of us, but our hearts received a different message. That message may have been that we were “not good enough to keep.” All our lives we have struggled with not being “good enough”. Maybe that’s where it began for us, and then because our little girl hearts had internalized that message, each negative thing that happened to us seemed to be in agreement and support of that. Maybe that is why we have gone through our lives waiting for the other shoe to fall, waiting for and fearing the next bad thing that will happen, because we are not “good enough” for it to not happen.
Maybe that is why it has been so hard for us to feel worthy of love and to receive love, whether from God or from others. But I think that if we could truly hear from God on this, that He would tell us that we ARE good enough to keep, and that we are worth fighting for, and that that is what He is doing. He is fighting for our hearts because He treasures us so much. The “not good enough to keep” message is a lie from the Enemy. I pray that He will free our hearts from it!