His mom

His mom is unresponsive this morning and they put her on oxygen.

For about the past week and half, she has been in the hospital and then a rehab center.

My husband and his dad will be going over there as soon as his dad gets dressed.

When my husband told me this this morning, he started crying.

He was finishing making his breakfast and then sat down to eat it.  I stood beside him and put my arm around his shoulders and he put his arm around my waist.

I know this is hard for him, and even though I don’t love him, I know he needs the comfort.  I just listened to him talk.

I can be there for him as a detached friend through this.  I’m just that kind of person.

However, I’m also aware that there probably will be retaliation at some point down the road for my kindness and compassion towards him.  And anger taken out on me about all of this.

I’ve slept in the living room all week and that is not going to change.

I can be a friend through a difficult time, but I won’t go back in bed with him.  That would be too risky.





This entry was posted in codependency, covert abuse, divorce, emotional abuse, family, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive husband, relationships and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to His mom

  1. “However, I’m also aware that there probably will be retaliation at some point down the road for my kindness and compassion towards him.  And anger taken out on me about all of this.”

    This is huge PAA, you realize exactly what will happen. You know the drill…the deranged dance he coerces you to perform with him.

    You have a choice. We always do. It’s just that sometimes we’ve had our power robbed from us for so long that we don’t believe we are strong enough to handle the alternative. You maybe don’t see it, but you have shown a lot of resistance to his abuse. I just want you to know that I believe you are very strong and able. I believe you will find your way out of his cage when you are ready.

    A favorite saying I have adopted is: “You survived the abuse. You will survive the recovery.” It is true. Getting through the act of separation is hard if you are the financially dependent spouse, no matter who does the leaving. However, dealing with a shortage of money is so much easier than dealing with the daily oppression. I am poor, but my life grows richer daily by the wisdom I am being gifted.

    Trust God. He always makes the path open up when we follow His lead. ❤

    Jer.29.11-14. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord , “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord , “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord , “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

  2. newshoes123 says:

    You are being kind and staying true to yourself, even though you know you may or probably will get your feelings hurt again… there’s nothing wrong with that and as long as you know what the stakes are, it may soften the blow a little (or maybe not) but at least your concious is clear that you did the right thing in the end.

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