I think the thing that gets me most about what happened (see post) is that, on Friday night, after I said, if you loved me, you wouldn’t ask me to do something that hurts me, he kept pressuring me to have sex with him.  And then on Saturday morning, he got on top of me and was using me and trying to get me to make love with him.

After I told him that if he loved me, he wouldn’t ask me to do something that hurts me.



This entry was posted in codependency, covert abuse, divorce, emotional abuse, family, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive husband, relationships and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to After…

  1. This is my two cents….please take them with a grain of salt.

    He did what he did because he only cares about one person…himself…and everyone else is a means to an end. He is an abuser. He doesn’t love you like God commands, he keeps you around because you are useful to him.

    Do you ever feel like you are a piece of furniture? That is how I felt for most of my marriage. I felt utterly unappreciated, unimportant, and ignored except for what comfort I gave by allowing myself to be used. He dehumanized me and turned me into an object in his mind.

    He is dysfunctional and he will never stop being dysfunctional as long as other people agree to put up with his dysfunction. That is not to blame you, it is simply a fact. If the world shunned him for his scheiß behavior, then he would possibly change. Nothing will change him…not even God (because He gave us free will)…he has to want to change.

    Sorry. That is my tangent for the day.

    You are so hurting, PAA. I feel it in your words and it makes me angry on your behalf. You cannot make sense of what he did because he operates by a whole different set of rules from those that you, me, and other non-abusers live by. He did bad because he chose to do bad and it did not trouble his conscience.

    He is disgusting. You deserve to be free of him.

  2. newshoes123 says:

    PA people are incapable of unconditional love. In fact there are only “programmed” for conditional love, they will love you if you “take care” of them, please them, do what they say you should do, abide by their rules, etc… you get the drift. My expah used to tell me all the time that he loved me, except when I would call him on certain things he would do to hurt me, he couldn’t answer back why he kept doing them claiming he “loved me”…. If you “cater” to them, they will love you, if you don’t, they will make sure you pay, even when you do what they say, you pay. Either way, you lose. That’s the PA way.

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