I was outside, cleaning up in my garden a little. (I have way too much stuff, even in the garden!!!!)
And I was thinking.
I will be fifty in another year and I was wondering what I had actually learned in all these years. Time just goes and goes and I wonder if I am a better person at all, if I have learned anything at all in all this time.
Yeah, I was kinda being down on myself.
So then I made myself think about what I might have actually learned.
And I have learned one or two things.
I’ve learned that being co-dependent doesn’t work.
I’ve learned that I need to trust God. Not that I do that very well or very often, but I do know that I need to.
I’ve learned that I need to wear gloves when I am working with thorny plants. Or maybe I haven’t learned that yet because I didn’t put on my gloves until I after I got thorns in my thumb.
While I was thinking about these things, I realized why I was having such a hard time letting go of the conflict with my supervisor. (See post.)
I realized that I wasn’t forgiving myself for getting in trouble, for making a mistake.
So this is one lesson I am still in the process of learning – it’s okay to be human. It’s okay to make mistakes!!! I need to forgive myself, learn what I need to learn, and move on.