unbearable

This is kind of hard to explain, but I thought it was unbearable before.

It is even more unbearable now, since what happened.  (See post.)

Ever since then, he has been courteous and helpful.

But I can’t stand being around him.

He hasn’t said anything about what happened and neither have I.

I still sleep in the living room.

Sometimes I can tell that underneath a very thin layer, he is angry.  But he doesn’t let it show.

I don’t like being around him at all.  It is so uncomfortable.

Sometimes he will start talking about something that happened at work or at church or something that he heard on the news.  I try to get away from him as quickly as possible.

I saw the counselor again today.  It’s been a month seen I’ve seen him.  I think I’m making some progress, but I’m still living here, so I haven’t reached my goal yet.  I do think the counselor is helping, though.

(P.S.  I went to add the link to that previous post and in doing so, I read just the first couple of sentences of the post.  And I started shaking.  Just after a couple of sentences.  I don’t know if could read the whole post.)

Advertisements
This entry was posted in codependency, covert abuse, divorce, emotional abuse, family, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive husband, relationships and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to unbearable

  1. It sounds like hell. And as Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell–keep going!”

    You are living in a state of limbo and it sounds like you are experiencing some ptsd from his assault on you. It sounds very difficult. I wish I could do something to help you.

    Know that I pray for your freedom.

  2. AlonewithGod says:

    We already know this is what PA men do/don’t do. They do not deal with their issues honestly. They may pretend to, but the behavior never changes in the long run. Not without a massive move of the Holy Ghost working in their life and making the man a new creation. But that requires humility, brokenness and repentance. The opposite of CONTROL…and that’s what he’s ALL about.
    What the PA husband does do–after an incident of abuse, he acts like it never happened. Yes, my dear, that is very uncomfortable. But to him, it is not abuse. This personality disorder has got to be its own miserable hell for these men. Never real, always insecure, no peace, no joy, no love to give, separated from God. Anyone in relationship with a PA man is affected. I am very grateful to God for setting me free.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s