I received this email from him this morning:
Some time ago we talked to someone who recommended that we read the book, Love and Respect. From that book I learned much, especially about the “crazy cycle”, that we have been on for some time now. Briefly lack of love from the husband produces lack of respect from the wife and it continues around and around in a crazy cycle. Part of the way that I have responded to you and treated you was because we were on the crazy cycle. Since reading that book, I have made a conscious effort to try and stop the crazy cycle by making an effort to be loving, regardless of what lack of respect you gave me. It is as you can imagine, very difficult to always respond in a loving way when the other person is mostly treating you in a disrespectful way.
In the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura has a message to unhappy wives like yourself. Men are not as complex as women are and do not think and operate in the same way that women do. One of the things that you seem to judge me harshly on is by misinterpreting everything that I do or don’t do and reading some other meaning into it to gripe about. That is from Dr. Laura’s book. For example, your notion that I’m a passive aggressive person who is out to do whatever you think my evil plans are. That is just wrong. Do you do all the things that you do that irritate me because you are passive aggressive?
You make it abundantly clear that you are a very unhappy person. News flash, I can’t make you to be a happy person. In her book, Dr. Laura says to women that happiness is a choice and if you want to be a happier person, just pick one thing from her book and start doing it for your husband. Then if you want more happiness, do more things. It is that simple, but we have to mess things up by making them much more complicated than they really are.
Now is a good time for us to make changes in our lives for the better.