This is very difficult to write.
It’s been exactly one year since what happened. (See post.)
I thought it would get easier. I thought I would get over it.
But I haven’t.
It’s actually gotten worse.
I have very strong reactions to anything, no matter how minor, relating to violence against women and sexual assault, even if it portrayed as a humorous situation. I start shaking and I feel sick and I just can’t handle the thoughts at all. I think it must be kind of like PTSD.
I’m going to see another therapist. She has experience working in a domestic violence shelter so maybe she will be able to help me with this in a way my other counselor wasn’t able to. I sure hope so. I need to heal from this, to stop feeling so dirty and wretched about it.