Darkness

Posted on July 10, 2015 by Writing about Passive Aggression

Dr Bill Wooten

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”

~ Mary Oliver

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1 Response to Darkness

  1. Seeing the Light says:
    July 10, 2015 at 11:51 am

    Darkness – the gift that keeps on giving. Just a little bit of sarcastic humor :)

    It is, however, true. I have thought long about what I have lost spending all these years chained to my passive-aggressive pseudo-husband/anti-husband. First, the two decades of being deceived and blind and living the crazy-making life that gave him the benefit of the doubt and condemned myself for everything. This led to the destruction of my body, emotions, and spirit. (A very long story). Then, the last few years of the light being turned on to see that I have been living with poison, with a person I do not know, with someone who barely has a soul (if indeed he does have one left) underneath the shell of his false self. Oh, the goosebumps and shudders with each new realization of what I had been living and who/what I had allowed to touch my body and my soul. The loss is great and it is not over. BUT – I wonder who I would be if not for this dark gift. I have learned SO MUCH. So much that now informs how I see the world, myself, my children, my dysfunctional family of origin, and on and on. There is an element of – I once was blind, but now I see. Then it makes me think of the Garden of Eden. Previous to their sin, there was innocence (and naiveté, I think). Afterward, there was a knowledge of good and evil they did not have before. I feel like that sometimes. I am no longer innocent or naive as to the ways of evil and the world. Every interaction I have now is informed by my experience and what I have learned. (It’s a bit like taking the pill in “The Matrix” movie). :)

    I also feel like I am part of this “club.” This group of women (and men) who know what the others never had to learn because we have lived it. And they will never understand who haven’t been inside it.

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