“Have you known passive aggressive behavior to turn aggressive?”
This is a question asked in a comment left on my blog. (You can see the entire comment on this post.)
My short answer is, no.
But, what do you mean by aggressive?
Has my husband ever hit me or pushed me or been physically abusive? No. He never has.
My mom has been married to a passive aggressive man almost as long as I have, and her husband also has never been physically abusive to her. But he does yell at her.
Now, occasionally, my husband will slam a door, or slam the dishes around a little in the kitchen, or toss and turn in bed or “huff” and be jerky in his movements. And that is a little more “aggressive” than his usual extremely passive self.
To look for a further answer to the question, I went to the book “Living With the Passive Aggressive Man,” by Scott Wetzler, which seems to be the most well-known source of information about passive aggressive behavior. Here are a few quotes which would indicate that a passive aggressive man is probably not going to attack you physically. Of course, neither I, nor anybody else, can say definitely what somebody will or won’t do.
“…passive-aggressive fathers are not likely to beat their children.”
“Many passive aggressive men will sulk rather than raise their voices, explode in rage or come clean about what’s bothering them. Those who are more demonstrative may let you know by tormenting, phone-slamming gestures that they’re angry, but they aren’t generous with the specific reason why. Passive-aggressive guys contain their anger, but their message (‘I’m angry and it’s your fault’) comes through loud and clear.”
“Passive-aggressive men are rarely “bad guys,” brutalizers, tyrants at home or at work, Lotharios or anti-social con men.”
“…any episode of violence would never be labeled ‘passive-aggressive.’ It’s clear, active and direct.”
By its very definition, passive-aggressive behavior is passive. Passivity and covert abuse is the way they handle anger, rather than facing it openly and punching somebody in the face. Or addressing it in any healthy way.
But PLEASE, if you EVER feel you are in physical danger, GET AWAY from him!
Has anyone reading this had a different experience than I have with passive aggressive behavior and aggression?