I don’t think I will ever have the courage to leave.

And I don’t think anyone will ever truly want me, truly love me.

I don’t think I’ll ever get to make love.

I think I am stuck here until I die.

This entry was posted in codependency, covert abuse, emotional abuse, family, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive husband, relationships and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to stuck

  1. That’s so sad. I know exactly how you feel. I too can see no way out. But I just have faith that just because I can’t see a way out right now, doesn’t mean an opportunity won’t arise in the future. I just can’t see it yet. Try to believe that other people have found a way out and we can too.

  2. GainingStrength says:

    Yes, when you are ready you will leave with or without courage. As I’m told it is all part of your life’s journey. Also that right now you are where you’re supposed to be. If not, you wouldn’t be there.

  3. paescapee says:

    I found a little courage and left after 37 years. I learned that it is actually far easier than coping with the PA man. Mine was all about security, how would I pay the bills? I am fortunate to have a job and I can cope-and I can now take charge of financial responsibilities, which I never could before. I feel more secure, not less. And less lonely than before, as I can build a reliable social life without him sabotaging it. But you sound really down :( I wish you kind thoughts from afar.

  4. WritesinPJ's says:

    I wrestle almost daily with thoughts that sound very much like yours, only I vacillate back and forth being wanting to just g.o. and wanting to believe we can make it work here.

    • paescapee says:

      Sadly I think they are very good at just giving enough ‘reward’ to make one think that there is a possibility of happiness whilst keeping it just out of reach. It doesn’t’ t make sense to me- wouldn’t’ t you prefer to be in a happy, workable relationship? Apparently not.

  5. Pingback: Thoughts on being stuck | my life in pajamas

  6. Praying for your strength! I left 9 weeks ago, after 8 years. I am learning to heal and trying to figure who I am and what I want. It is part of your journey. You’ll know when it’s time. And you’ll find the courage to go. Love and hugs to everyone here. <3

  7. newshoes123 says:

    I’ve been gone a while (left my pah and now have my own place, took some time off :) ) but I know from experience that self loathing doesn’t help you at all!!! And from experience again, someone will want you for certain!! You’re an awesome person, so smart and so brave, you don’t even know it!! I know you feel stuck, I’ve been there for many many years I felt the same way, stuck. Remind yourself one thing, the only constant and consistent thing in life is change. This will change, have faith. It’s all you got for now.

  8. nessa3 says:

    Ive been struggling with the same feelings …I cant stand being in this relationship, yet I feel Id be worse off leaving…especially financially….All our assets are tired up…in real estate and not worth anything until its paid off…I cant stay in an apt….

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