Thursday evening I came home and there was a mason jar of flowers on my vanity.
The note underneath it said, A tribute to your heritage [big smiley face] Viva Scotland.
Here’s what he said to me about the flowers when he came home:
“I’ve been looking and looking for some wildflowers to pick for you and today I some in the field that I knew were the ones that I wanted to give you. They remind me of you.”
So, here’s a link to a picture of the flowers that so lovingly remind him of me:
Lovely, aren’t they?
Did you notice the thorns all over the stems and all over the leaves??? Oh, and the pretty purple flowers, too?
If he had said, I thought these flowers were interesting, or, I thought you might like to see these flowers, or, these flowers made me think of the Scottish Thistle, well, then, mabye it would be different.
But, no.
“They remind me of you.”
So, how passive aggressive is that???
Whatever.
Passive Aggressive Abuse 
I almost have to laugh. This is just CLASSIC! They are impaired when it comes to just about any show of emotion. It took my spouse 25 years to realize I don’t like PINK. My SONS had to tell him. I asked his counselor to evaluate him for Autism spectrum. She pretty much nixed that. He’s PA Narcissist. He’s trying very hard, do here I sit.
Those really are interesting thistles, but I’d never think they should go to a lady. :-(
The green thorny stuff is your marriage/him. You’re the splash of color reaching to the sky, soon to fly ;P
I can’t believe he did that. What the heck. Mourninglight is right. I like what she said.
So, if he touches you he will get stickers in him? STF? What a dick. Can’t even be nice about this one. Shaking my head. Not the way to work on a relationship.
Either he’s completely clueless or he’s just trying to piss you off. I’m fairly certain it’s the second option. Isn’t he such a dear… Dumbass.
What??!?!? Oh my. There are no words.
I am believing this but I can see how you wouldn’t want to, Hugs to you, you don’t deserve this.
I ran a crossed this articular and wanted to know if anyone has read it before? I have not but I started to and it physically made me ill and couldn’t finish the first 2 paragraphs. I just can not wrap my head around if someone loves you how would they do such off the wall things to them. I couldn’t read anymore because I been depressed so I knew it was gonna take my mind to a place I didn’t want to go to today and it would kill my positive thoughts so had to let it go until I am up this kind of read. (So if your depressed DO NOT read until you think you can handle it or if you are some what depressed wait another day to read) I have never ran across this read before so wanted to share on your site or if you had a place for it, here it is but don’t read if your not even close to dealing with any kind of emotions today. If you don’t think this enter-twine with P/A’s, just don’t re-post on your site.
what’s the link?
This is the one and read the comments at the bottom and replies that go along with them. http://www.psychologyineverydaylife.net/2012/07/07/how-to-cope-with-a-passive-aggressive-mate-dr-deborah-khoshaba/
This is one I have been reading and it’s long but in-depth to the core about P/A’s and Co-dependent’s. How the P/A uses the co-dependent and how the co-dependent can’t except that they can’t figure out an out or an answer to this problem. (I have to admit this is exactly what I do too. Even after I read it with many other things I can’t believe this is true. Very, very, very hard for me to believe.) Some of the reading says: The passive aggressive persons greatest weapon is time. The discomfort of being in a relationship with them usually takes quite a lot of time to reach a point where you know that something is wrong. By the time you begin to see the problem you have invested so much of yourself that you simply can’t admit that you can’t fix this problem. All of that time, energy, devotion and commitment that you have put into the relationship anchors you because like most people pleasers you just can’t give up and recognize that you have made a seriously bad investment. Being a pleaser (co-dependent) is a lot like an addiction to gambling; an addicted gambler will bet the last dollar they have because they fervently believe that the next hand will be a winner. A co-dependent will keep fighting a hopeless battle because they don’t have the courage to give up and start again. If they do finally break free they often end up with another version of what they had because they unconsciously choose a partner that is familiarly dysfunctional.
The last part of what I said is from this: http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Live-In-A-Sexless-Marriage/1445968
Ok, please forgive me but I must be missing something here. Are you not Scottish? IF my husband picked thistles for me that looked that nice and left me a note like that I’d be extremely moved and stunned by his thoughtfulness. I’d fall over with a stroke or heart attack. Seriously! I’m of Scottish heritage , I’m a Scottish fiddler and I love the Scottish thistle. I’m as passionate about that emblem as I am my country’s flag. I have kilt/scarf pins, necklaces, a front door wreath and even beautiful old 19th century china with the thistle emblem ( all of those given to me by others or from myself). But, my husband would never think to be thoughtful enough to even look for a real live thistle to give me. I would press them and dry them and put them in a beautiful frame. I sincerely don’t mean to be cruel in any way, just thought I would offer a different perspective.