This morning, I didn’t give him a hug.
Every morning before he goes to work, he gives me a quick hug and a peck of a kiss and says he loves me and that he hopes that I will have a good day.
This morning, he started to do that, and I said, no, I don’t want to hug you. I’m tired of pretending everything is okay.
He said, I know everything is not okay.
I told him I was glad he knew everything was not oaky and that I had to go get ready for work.
He then wanted to know if I was coming home that night and making dinner. And he wanted to know what time and he wanted to know why it would be so late. I told him that I go to the gym after work.
He said (sarcastically), fine, go to the gym. And he left.
Prior to all of this, I had asked him if he had any money he could give me to help me buy a new laptop for my (our) daughter. The answer was a flat-out no.
Every morning when he gives me this hug, I feel like he is ignoring the fact that we have serious problems in our marriage. Every single morning I feel that way and I resent that hug. So this morning, I finally said no, fueled by the feelings of betrayal and rejection that came from him not being willing to help support my daughter. No, it’s not petty payback; it’s setting a boundary. My feelings, though, did give me the strength to actually go ahead and say no, when many times before I have not wanted to hug him and have done so anyway.