On Friday last week, we had a text “conversation” about a particular situation. I thought that was the end of that, but then yesterday, I found out there was more to the story. When I asked him why he didn’t tell me the rest of the situation, he said, I didn’t think it was important.
Yesterday, we were with friends and he was talking about a picture he had posted on Facebook. (He’s on Facebook; I’m not.) One of our friends had seen it, but others hadn’t, so he was showing the picture, which was on his cell phone, to the other friends and I wanted to see it, too. It was a picture of his feet propped up on a chair in front of a small fire, out in a cleared space in our woods. I didn’t know he took time off of work to build a fire in the woods.
Last week, he was telling me that he and his assistant went to Wal-Mart to buy a fishing license for his assistant….. at a time when I assumed they were actually working. This happens on a fairly regular basis. I will think he has been working all day long, but then he’ll tell me things like, I took my dad to the grocery store, or, Josh [his assistant] and I stopped off and visited with so-and-so, or…
Sometimes I’ll hear him telling someone else about something, and it’ll be something I’ve never heard of before.
Because of a random remark he made a few weeks ago, I discovered that he has several bank accounts in his name, but not in mine. (See post.)
Oh, and awhile back, I thought to ask if my name was on the title to his business equipment. He said he meant to put my name on the title, but didn’t.
And there was the time that I asked him for money to pay for a family expense, and then he told me we didn’t have any money. (See post.)
So, it makes me wonder….
What else isn’t he telling me?
Passive Aggressive Abuse 
If you really wanna go digging, take a long-handled shovel and wear lead-lined boots ’cause you are not gonna like what you find and won’t want to get any on your clothes…
:} That is so great! Actually, I don’t even know where I would look. I’ve discovered what I’ve discovered by chance.
Start with his online browsing history. Things to look for: e-mail accounts you aren’t familiar with, Facebook messages, bank names or account language, photo or chat room sites, searches on Mapquest and Google, porn or gaming sites.
If he doesn’t spend time online (or does it away from a computer you have access to) search for hard-copy proof around the house. If it’s there, you’ll find it.
You’ll know what you’re looking for when you find it and I’m sorry to say it will be a punch to the gut every time – been there, done that. It sucks, but forewarned is forearmed, right?
Good luck!
The browsing history on our computer is turned off, so I don’t know of any way to find that out. :{
So turn it on. Turn the cookies on, too. Will he notice? Maybe, maybe not. You could also buy a program that will give you a report (stored in the Cloud) of what he does on the computer. It’s not Rocket Science, just be as sneaky as you believe he is being. And then be a little bit sneakier :-)
Oh, he’ll notice!!! I’ll see what I can do, though. Thanks! :}
EXACTLY!
It’s frustrating, isn’t it???!?
umh… something fishy there. If I was you, I would make sure to have my own bank account just in case, and start saving – your account could have the title “getting-out-of-this-crap” money … just sayin….
I already have my own accounts and am saving to get out. I like your suggestion for the title!!! :} Thanks!
Reblogged this on Wildmen: Explicating Irrationality.
Thanks!
Sofia is right. You aren’t going to like what you find. But, if you plan on filing for divorce, the more you find now, the better it will be when the time comes to make it official.
To file for divorce in my state, all I have to do is be seperated for a year. That’s it. Nothing else matters.