he sent me flowers

He sent me red roses at work.

The card said, “Happy Birthday Darling!  You will always be young and beautiful to me.  – I love you.”  

My birthday is Monday (today is Friday).  He is leaving this afternoon to go camping with friends over the week-end so I won’t see him until Sunday afternoon. 

I’ve been really looking forward to the week-end without him.  I’ve been afraid that something would happen and he would cancel the trip.  But, so far, that hasn’t happened.

And now the roses.

I feel so furious. 

Yes, I love flowers.  I brought my own flowers, including roses, from my garden to work this morning.  They are sitting on the counter in front of me.   Some of my teammates stop and smell them and talk with me about my flowers and my garden.

I put the roses that he sent on a coffee table in a seating area that is to the side of my desk.  They are there where I can see them if I choose to look that way.  Teammates can see them if they are walking that way.  But I didn’t feel like putting them in front of me.   I don’t feel like explaining to people that he sent me.  Some of my teammates know that I want to leave my marriage.

And why would you leave a marriage where your husband sends you red roses?

I think I will leave the flowers here over the week-end, so I don’t have to look at them at home.  This morning I was thinking that I will make every effort to not think about him in any way all week-end long.  Wish me luck on that!

This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to he sent me flowers

  1. Val says:

    After ignoring me for years, my soon to be ex-husband sent me red roses repeatedly when I decided to move on after our separation. When I didn’t take him back he became vicious and the PA behavior increased to near insane levels.

    Buying flowers and saying words is easy, being a good spouse isn’t.

    For some, it’s impossible.

    • “Buying flowers and saying words is easy, being a good spouse isn’t.” That is SO, SO true!!!! I feel guilty about wanting to leave when he does stuff like send me flowers. Maybe that’s why he does it? I don’t know.

      • PA ABUSED says:

        OMG!!!! Mine sent me red and white roses to me at work on my birthday. He has never sent me flowers before (EVER). He wanted the people at work and my family to think he is this amazing, loving husband (just like he does when we are out in public or when people are around). He also said he would make dinner for me and when i got home from taking our daughter to soccer – there was no dinner – instead he sent my son to store to buy sushi for him and son and a french stick and multi dips for me – some birthday dinner, right? He then decided to go play hockey – but threw in that he wouldnt go out for drinks afterwards because it was my birthday – he sure is swell, right?

  2. Exactly! I would leave the flowers in my office over the weekend too. Or, better yet, find someone who might enjoy them at their own house and give them away!
    No need to think about him at all! Have a great weekend and happy early birthday!!

  3. mixedemotions says:

    ah i feel for you…. but i’m sure the roses are nice and there’s no need to not enjoy them, you could imagine that they come from a wonderful, gorgeous sexy man who adores you and makes love to you (nothing wrong with a little law of attraction to get what you want and fantasizing that it’s from someone better) Good luck, enjoy all of your weekend.

    • :} I like the idea of the fantasy! :} That could be really, really good……!

      • herestohoping says:

        It might get you out of that nasty fog you are in, I know I was there up until recently. And that’s the trick I used, I fantasized about having the best relationship with an amazing person and it worked. I’m giving my PA a last chance, I’m hoping it can work but if that doesn’t work, I know that my fantasy will eventually come true, it’s the law of attraction at work and a law is a law, it’s what I figure, so I changed my name from mixedemotions to here’stohoping. I can’t stay in the fog forever and in the end I know what I want :) goodluck xo

  4. You said “And why would you leave a marriage where your husband sends you red roses?”

    I had this reaction last night when my husband brought an armload of Godiva chocolates. I hope that one day I will be able to distinguish between a genuinely sweet act and manipulation. My gods I hope…


    • Sometimes I feel like everything is manipulation. He only does what will benefit him or make him look good. I guess we’re all selfish in one way or another, but somehow, he never seems like he just does something nice ONLY to do something nice. :{

      • Yes I identify with that. I am looking forward to sorting out what’s healthy and what’s not. I guess it all begins and ends with me. Shocking lol!

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