talking with the lawyer

My appointment with the lawyer this morning went well.

She does free workshops about the legal aspects of divorce and separation in the state where I live.  I’ve gone to her workshops probably about five times over the past year and half, so I was already familiar with her and with the laws in this state.

I don’t know that I learned anything new this morning, since I had been to her workshops, but I’m still glad I spent the time and money to meet with her.  It was comforting to lay out my specifics, mainly about assets, and have her go over them with me.

Overall, her response to my marriage seemed to be “… and WHY are you still with him?”  And that was even with me telling her very little of the actual marriage.  She was really struck by the fact that he has no relationship with his daughters.  She recognized – and said – that he seems to act like he is about ten years old.   [No offense to ten-year-olds!]

She was also very encouraging.  She said that to get to happiness, it is hard work.   She said, you have to reach the top of the hill to find happiness; you aren’t going to find it down in the valley.  And it is a hard climb to the top of the hill, but it is worth it.

Another time I’ll tell you what she said about light bulbs, but now I have to go to sleep.

Oh, and she said, which I already knew, that my next step is to find a place to live.  So that’s my next big hurdle and now I am scared of that.

Thank you for all of your encouragement.

This entry was posted in covert abuse, divorce, emotional abuse, family, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to talking with the lawyer

  1. Sofia Leo says:

    Good for you! Finding a place to live isn’t so hard if you’re willing to look outside the box and are willing to accept something you might never have considered, at least for a little while.

  2. Karen says:

    I am proud of you for taking that step. I too am 26 years into a marriage. This morning I gave all of the filled out paperwork to my lawyer. His secretary was going to type it up and my P/A should be served soon. It oddly has given me a peaceful feeling although I know there is a bumpy road ahead. I liked what you said about not being able to find happiness in the valley. I am looking forward to hearing what she said about light bulbs. We can do this together. Sending you lots of love and encouragement.

  3. Baldeep Kaur says:

    I am really glad that you are trying your best to bring positive changes in your life. Sending you lots of love, courage and positive energy to achieve all what you desire..

  4. mixedemotions says:

    You did it!!! that’s so awesome… it was just one little step on the way to your happiness :)

  5. Well done. You overcame your fear and took the step and found that it wasn’t as bad as anticipated. Remember that as you take the next step. You can do it x

  6. Childofthetruth says:

    We are all so happy for you! We are all rooting for you and others going through this. I made it through to the other side and believe me, it was so worth it!!!!! YOU ARE GOING TO BE HAPPY THAT YOU DID THIS!!!!!!

  7. Debbie says:

    I have been married to passive aggressive for 19 years and am getting a divorce next year when I can afford it. I living with my daughter I have a part time job, I stay in her living room, she also has a roommate. I feel so all alone I don’t have transportation, don’t have much money but it is do much better then being with him!!! I want to meet new positive people! I am going forward. I will soon be 61. I am finally free!!!!

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