My husband has one employee. His name is Josh. I’ve only met him once (see post).
My husband and Josh like to joke about Josh liking sophisticated women. Of course, this is only a joke, because, as Josh recently told my husband, he doesn’t know any sophisticated women.
My husband likes to tell Josh (and I think, others) that I am sophisticated. (I’m not. Believe me, I’m not!)
Anyhow, a couple of times, my husband has said, Josh would like you; you’re sophisticated. (This was before Josh told my husband he didn’t know any sophisticated women.)
Another time, my husband texted me, after I had replied to an earlier text with something witty, that Josh thinks I’m funny.
My husband used to work with a man who rides a motorcycle. One time, I commented to my husband, after seeing a group of riders going down the road on a beautiful morning, that I thought it would be so cool to do something like that. He told me that this man he worked with was going to a biker’s week at the beach and he was sure this man would be glad to take me.
Yesterday, at the gym, there was someone new, and he was “checking me out.” I told my husband this last night. So, this morning, when I was getting out of bed, my husband said, you have beautiful hair. Then he asked, Was the man at the gym checking out your hair… (I said, yes) or your butt? (I said, yes.) Then there was a comment about the man checking out my breasts and I said that I wear a baggy t-shirt and he said, he’s probably wondering what you’d look like in a sports bra. And I said, not naked? And he said, he doesn’t want to take it too fast.
So, I’m wondering, why does my husband seem like he would “share” me, if that’s the right way to put it? Or maybe not literally share me, but talk about it like this? Is it some kind of fantasy thing a guy would have?
I wouldn’t want him to be insanely jealous, but on the other hand, he makes me feel like he isn’t concerned about protecting me or anything. I don’t know if that makes sense.
Of course, he seems jealous when I speak positively about any male acquaintance or co-worker. But, like in an insecure way, not a protective way.
I asked him if it bothered him that this man at the gym was checking me out. He was quiet for a minute and then he said, Yes. You should wear a berka to the gym.
Passive Aggressive Abuse 
It’s double, I think.
For one there is the positive attention you may be getting from people who actually care, and who might give you a taste of what it is like to be cared for and loved. That makes him jealous and insecure because it is a loophole in the trap he has caught you in.
And then there’s the purely physical attention, and acting as if he doesn’t care about that is just another way to show his detachment and non-caring towards you. He’s your husband for how long already, psychologically torturing you for how long already? Don’t tell me he doesn’t know that his attitude concerning “sharing you” makes you feel unsafe. He wants you to feel unsafe.
The man’s a bastard. Period.