feral cat

Just over a year ago, I found a tiny kitten on my deck and fell in love with him.

Since then, I’ve seen a couple of cats that I am almost positive are his siblings, but they are wild, feral.

One cat looks almost exactly like him and is another male.  He got caught in my husband’s trap several months ago and I let him out.  I wish I had taken him to be neutered, but at the time, all I could think about was how scared he was and how badly he wanted out of the trap.

This morning, the sister was in the trap.  I think she is so beautiful.   My cat, Aslan, is a tawny color, with ever so slightly darker tawny streaks, especially on his tail.  The girl cat is a grey/black color with black streaks.   She looks just like Aslan except for the color.  I wish I had found her at the same time I found Aslan so she could be my cat, too.

But it’s too late for that.  She is wild and scared.  Sometimes I see her come up onto the deck at night to eat after our cats have eaten.

And this morning, she was in the trap.  She was absolutely terrified, but I brought her in the house and transferred her to a large, dog-size cage to hold on to her until I decide what to do.

My dilemma was whether to just let her go, or to get her neutered and then let her ago.

I tried to talk to my husband about it, but he, as usual, was no help.  There is no discussing options or ideas with him.  Period.

Finally he just said, if you want to do anything for the cat, you have to pay for it.

So, it’s back to money again.

And maybe that’s the reasonable conclusion to the question.  I don’t know.  But, I wish there could be the process.   I wish I could trust the reasoning.  I wish there was the give and take and the exploration of pros and cons.  Not only on this, but on any decision.

But with him, it’s just, no.   There is no reasoning, no thought process.   He doesn’t want to make a decision so he says no.

So then I am the one who has to make the rational decision.  And afterwards I am often criticized for the decision I made.  Go figure.

About the lovely feral cat….   There is a low-cost neuter place that I can take her and have it done for not too much so that is what I will do.  I would prefer to take her to my vet hospital, because the vet hospital is so nice and caring, but that would cost me quite a bit more.  And since my husband has made it clear that he will not pay for any more cat expenses, I guess this is my best option.   I took another cat to this place before and she survived so I guess the pretty feral cat will be okay there, too.  Then I can bring her home and let her go.

This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to feral cat

  1. Liz says:

    Several years ago, I worked at a garden center that was next to an old abandoned house where there were several feral cats. I faced the same dilemma as you except that I had about 50 cats or more to trap. I was able to raise enough money to have the cats spayed and neutered at a vet clinic that gave me a huge discount. Have you tried getting donations to help offset the cost? What about calling your vet to see if they would reduce the cost or even offer to do the operation for free? If you can afford to pay for the cat , go for it. Otherwise, spending money you can’t afford to spend is self defeating. I think it’s wonderful that you even care enough to consider these options.

  2. I did take her to a low cost spay neuter place that charges a lot less than my vet hospital. I didn’t even ask my vet hospital if they discount for feral cats. Next time I will ask. The low cost place is definatel assembly line!!! I like my vet place much, much better! Anyhow, I’ve still got her inside in a huge dog cage. At the low cost place, they said to keep your pets calm and fairly still for 10 days. I’m sure that wasn’t expected for a feral animal, but since I can do it, I am, just to give her a better chance to heal. She hides in the box I put in there for her, but she eats all the food I give her and she does her business. She looks fine. But, boy does she hiss at me if she feels scared!!! I wish she could understand that I won’t hurt her and that she’ll be ok and that in a few more days, she can go outside again. Poor thing!

    • Liz says:

      Yes, they do hiss! It’s sort of scary trying to handle the poor things when they are so afraid. She’ll be fine, she wants to get back to her natural home.

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