praying for deliverance…

Yes, I pray for deliverance.

King David prayed for deliverance.  He was king and would have had armies and wealth at his disposal.  Yet he still felt he needed God’s Hand to deliver him out of the mire.

I’m stuck.

I need help.

I need deliverance – whether from a physical circumstance or an emotional circumstance or a spiritual circumstance.  Or maybe just from myself.  I need deliverance.

Why would I limit on what I talk to my Father about?  And He has the option to deliver me in any way He sees fit.

I pray for deliverance and help and mercy.  He can take that any way He wants.

It is hard for me to leave here.

I’m scared.  I have a certain security here.

I don’t want to leave my garden.  Yes, I can make a new garden.  I’ve done that before.

But all of this is bigger than me.  I’m not strong right now.

I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know how to do it.

I don’t want an empty, sexless marriage.

But right now, everything else seems closed to me.

Maybe that’s me, my fault, my weakness.

Or maybe it’s timing.

I don’t have the answer.

So I pray for deliverance.

 

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This entry was posted in codependency, covert abuse, divorce, emotional abuse, family, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive husband, relationships and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to praying for deliverance…

  1. AlonewithGod says:

    Oh ok, I thought you were praying specifically for deliverance from your marriage.

  2. GainingStrength says:

    I don’t know if I would have had the courage to file for divorce if my ex hadn’t. I hope I would have, but I don’t know. Lucky for me mine left me. :)

    I still have times of stuckedness :) and not knowing what the right thing to do or the time to do it. Don’t think all these “I don’t knows” are only for those still in their marriages. We who are free share some of the same worries and doubts. It’s difficult and at times emotionally very painful, but I am so grateful that the Lord saved and freed me.

    As they say…recovery is a process…it takes time (insert here YEARS), but it’s YOUR recovery. You don’t have that belittling, shaming, demoralizing, abusing monster watching you, “helping” you!

    It’s the first step into the unknown you fear. Yes? Find a DV shelter/office and see if they have classes you can participate in. The one I go to is more like therapy than class. It is very helpful as they explain why you feel the way you do and why you react the way you do. It’s great to learn you’re not alone and what you’re going through is “normal” (whatever that is!) for an abused woman.

    The Lord will answer you. Be still and listen, He will comfort and guide you. May He bless you with the strength and trust in yourself you need as you come to that fork in the road of your life’s journey.

  3. Just one question:

    Is living your life in a gray haze worth the amount of security you’re getting in exchange?

    Life during the transition was HARD, but I knew it would eventually end…and it did. Then came the hard emotional work and putting to use all which I have learned so as not to attract these fleas to me. Now, I am feeding “ME”. Returning to old passions and I am so happy!

  4. This is my heart-cry as well. I pray for deliverance boldly. Our God is the God of deliverance and He rewards those that importune him. From what I read in the Scriptures, He invites us to hammer away on His door night and day until He answers from His holy heaven to give justice to His own! And I fully believe that He is coming to rescue me and my children! You go after Him with all the strength you have.

  5. lonelywife07 says:

    All I can say is http://www.Leslievernick.com….a wonderful community of women who blog there, and we support each other, and draw strength from Leslie’s wisdom…
    God is NOT the author of fear, so ask yourself…”Do I trust God or don’t I?”
    I’ve had to go back to counseling to get answers to this question….Like you I struggle with not wanting to uproot myself…to lose all I have, but for peace of mind and soul…if that’s what’s needed, then its what you have to do.

  6. Are you okay, dear? Where did you go? I am worried about you.

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