the past three nights

His Dad had hernia surgery on Wednesday.

As I have mentioned, his dad had a stroke over a year ago.  He does basically okay but still has difficulties with certain things.  His mom has bone cancer.  And other health things from time to time.  Overall, she is pretty frail.

The result of this is that Wednesday night and Thursday night and last night, my husband stayed the night at his parents’ house so he could look after them.

I’m very selfish.  I was so glad to have the bed to myself.  I felt so relaxed and slept so well.

His sister is here for today and tomorrow, so he won’t need to stay with his parents.  But at least I got a few nights by myself.  We’ll see what next week brings.

I’ve tried to be comforting and encouraging to my husband in the things that I’ve said because I know it is hard for him to see his parents like this.  Last night, I was thinking, at some point there will be “payback” for my niceness, for trying to be encouraging.

And, last night, he sent me on one of those little wild goose chase things that he does sometimes.  (See this post.)

When I got out of the shower, I saw that there was a text from him.  He asked me if I had any ibuprofen.

(His dad is allergic to certain pain medications, but he can use ibuprofen.  The doctor had told him to take ibuprofen, but he was stubborn and didn’t.  Anyhow, I guess my husband convinced him that he needed to take the ibuprofen.)

I texted him back and told him that I didn’t know, but that I would look.

(I use aspirin when I need to take something.)

I didn’t receive a reply from him.

I looked for ibuprofen and found some Advil, which is ibuprofen.

No reply yet.

I texted him again and said that I found ibuprofen and that I would bring it over to him if he would come out and get it.

Still no reply from him.

And I’m wondering why a man who can only take ibuprofen and was told by the doctor to take ibuprofen for the pain after the surgery doesn’t have any ibuprofen on hand???

Finally, my husband texts me back and says that they don’t need my ibuprofen because they found theirs.

You know, I kinda got that pulling-the-rug-out-from-under-you feeling. I’m sorry his parents are struggling.  I’m sorry it’s hard for him.  I’m trying to be kind and supportive towards him even though I wish he would just go away.  I find the ibuprofen for him/them, I offer to bring it over, and then, well, they don’t need me after all.

Whatever.  Just whatever.

I know that love is supposed to be only care for the other person(s) and not done with the expectation of something in return.  But it still kind of hurts to go out of your way and then to sort of have it thrown back in your face.

I know the whole ibuprofen thing isn’t really that big a deal.  I guess I just get tired of this kind of thing.  I was glad to try to help.  I still am.  I guess maybe I resent being dragged into their drama.

And maybe my husband wanted to intrude on my evening and then let it be known that I’m not needed after all.  Maybe that’s it.

Although he would deny that.