Monthly Archives: July 2013

random, crazy thoughts….

Posted on July 30, 2013 by Writing about Passive Aggression

I feel old, ugly, fat, unlovable.  I’m tired.  Tired of all of this going on and on and on. I work so hard at the gym, but I don’t see much of a difference.  A lady at the gym says … Continue reading →

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , , , | 27 Comments

feral cat

Posted on July 28, 2013 by Writing about Passive Aggression

Just over a year ago, I found a tiny kitten on my deck and fell in love with him. Since then, I’ve seen a couple of cats that I am almost positive are his siblings, but they are wild, feral. … Continue reading →

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Table’s turned ~ maybe

Posted on July 27, 2013 by Writing about Passive Aggression

Yesterday we had another session with Julie, the therapist. I think it went well. She did have a plan with me listening to him.  It worked just like she wanted it to.  I said that I realized that I was … Continue reading →

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , , | 11 Comments

trauma bonding

Posted on July 26, 2013 by Writing about Passive Aggression

The comment quoted below was left on “The List” page of my blog. I find this comment to be overwhelmingly powerful. “Never underestimate the power of trauma bonding, or what happens when covert behaviors reinforce over and over and over … Continue reading →

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , , | 11 Comments

A kiss…

Posted on July 24, 2013 by Writing about Passive Aggression

This morning, when he was about to leave for work, I kissed him.  I really kissed him.   As in seriously turned him on, kissed him. Then I said that I had to go get ready for work.  He said, are … Continue reading →

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , , | 21 Comments

listening

Posted on July 23, 2013 by Writing about Passive Aggression

Julie, the therapist, said that he is supposed to spend fifteen minutes every evening telling me about four emotions he had that day. Last night, he told me that he felt apprehensive when I asked him why we were married.  … Continue reading →

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , , | 14 Comments

“Why are we married?”

Posted on July 21, 2013 by Writing about Passive Aggression

Silly me. I asked him this question this evening. “Why are we married?” Five minutes later (literally), he answered. He said, “Because I love you… in spite of your faults and shortcomings….   You have some very good characteristics, too.” I … Continue reading →

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , | 11 Comments

how hard he works…

Posted on July 21, 2013 by Writing about Passive Aggression

Thursday night, he said that he feels like I don’t appreciate how hard he works. He said that it seems like I am more careful with the money I earn than with the money that he earns.  I told him … Continue reading →

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, money, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Words, actions, and crumbs.

Posted on July 17, 2013 by Writing about Passive Aggression

Last week we met with Julie, the therapist. (See post.) She told him to spend fifteen minutes every evening talking to me about four emotions that he had that day.   We were also each supposed to compliment each other on … Continue reading →

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

“How to Love Yourself”

Posted on July 14, 2013 by Writing about Passive Aggression

(This is a handout from a workshop I attended several months ago.) 1.  Live without self-criticism (or criticism to others). 2. Be gentle and forgiving of mistakes. 3.  Have positive self-thoughts/positive affirmations. 4.  Don’t engage in negative thoughts or behaviours.  … Continue reading →

Posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships | Tagged | 4 Comments